Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas and Craft Exchange!

I hope that everyone is having as lovely of a holiday as we are!  Starr, Jude and I are in California visiting the grandparents and having a great time.  We flew in last night and I'm happy to say flying with Jude went much better than I anticipated.  We are here for the week and are planning to send as much time at the beach as possible.  We already went once today!

Also, yesterday morning just in time for us to open before we left, we got our awesome craft exchange from the ladies at Insert metaphor  They sent us the cutest ornaments and some very tasty chocolate!  Look at how cute they are!

Thank you Olive and Fern!!

Happy holidays!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Sugar cookies- creating traditions

This past weekend we made sugar cookies from scratch with Jude. He loved every part of it soooo much. It is a tradition I always did with my mom when I was growing up and I wanted to do it with Jude. He helped pour the ingredients in the bowl and turn the mixer on and off. He got totally covered in flour but a quick shirt change and he was good to go for the next part. After chilling, he helped us cut out the cookies. We placed the shapes and he would push them down.  Then it chilled and baked. Next was the best part. We took all the cookies over to the kitchen table and frosted them and let Jude go crazy with the sprinkles. He loved it so much.  We made a ton of cookies and Jude helped decorate them all! There was only 1sprinkle container with a lid with holes so he wouldn't pour them all out and it was hot pink sprinkles, so you can guess what color most of the cookies turned out:) he was mesmerized by it. He asked for more and more and even cried when it was over he loved it so much. It made me so happy to bring this tradition to my family.  What traditions do you do with your family?

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Moving on Up!

I know it's been ages since we last posted, but honestly we have been so busy that this is the first Jude nap in what feels like forever that I've been able to sit down, and that is just because we have people inside the house cleaning right now, or I'd be busy!  We are putting the house on the market this Friday and have been spending all of our spare time decluttering, packin and cleaning to get ready.  We are moving to Round Rock, which is just north of Austin.  Starr's job is up there and for the last year she has been commuting about an hour each way to work.  Of course for the six years prior she was also commuting an hour each way for a different job, but now that we have Jude and I'm not driving to work it makes sense for our family to move and cut her commute.  It's a good time to sell here in Austin, but of course having a toddler in the house makes things difficult, both in selling and in buying.  So this week we have had our carpets steam cleaned, a cleaning service to deep clean so that hopefully we can just maintain the clean, and a neighbor mowed the yard and cleaned up outside for us.  On Thursday we have a professional photographer come out to take pictures.  And we have take down the tons of art and pictures on our walls and packed up about 30% of our stuff.  Whew!  And now that's it's as close to perfect as I can get it Jude and I are just going to stay out of the house as much as possible until it sells (which cross your fingers is quick!).
Any tips on keeping a spotless house with a toddler would be appreciated!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Fall is finally here in Texas

Its a nice cold day here in Austin and Jude and I are playing in the backyard.  I love fall, the cold days, the warm snugly blankets, seeing our darling boy grow up.  We have been bad bloggers but time is always in short supply so a few updates:
-Italy was amazing!  I ate way too much pasta and pizza, drank a ton of amazing beer, saw a few beautiful sights and generally had a wonderful time with my brother.
This is my favorite thing that we saw, Trevi fountain.  It is also were I put my friend Melanie's ashes.  It's a tradition to toss a coin in and make a wish to come back to Rome.  Now I like to imagine Melanie is granting those wishes.
-We gave up on the toddler bed.  Jude was doing pretty good at nap time with it, but at bedtime he would get out of bed and lay on his floor kicking his bedroom door while screaming.  And he would do it for over an hour some nights no matter what we did.  So now he is sleeping in a pack and play, which with the mesh sides he can't climb out of it.  And bedtime has gone much smoother ever since.
-Jude continues to be a joy to be around at least 90% of the time.  He is talking more and more and his new favorite thing is to read books.  He has always liked books but now he will bring me book after book after book to read.  He especially likes books where there are busy pictures with things for me to ask him to point out for me.  
-We joined our local YMCA,which has been awesome!  It's a little more than we probably should be spending on an "extra" like that, but it is the best.  They have an awesome kid care room with super sweet staff and tons of toys.  They will watch Jude for an hour and a half up to twice a day!  So far we have been going 3-4 times a week.  So momma gets a good workout, a break from the little guy, and he gets something fun and new to do and kids to play with.  He seems to like it, he only had one day where he cried when I left the room.  I highly recommend to all stay at home moms to find a way to do something like this, it is worth every penny!
-It seems like everyone is moving onto their second baby but us these days.  We are in no way finically ready to have another baby, but man I'm feeling the urge!
-Jude was a ninja turtle for Halloween.  We picked up some ninja turtle footie pajamas and just used those as he only went half way around the block trick or treating.  And surprise, surprise, Jude loves candy! Kitkats to be exact.  
And here is a picture of our sweet boy playing outside this morning.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

While Liz is in Italy, I get to single mom it

Super exciting news for Liz is that she is in Italy for 10 days!  Super unexciting news for me is I am not and I am currently working full time and taking care of a high energy toddler.  Honestly, with Liz’s surgeries this year, we have this routine down.  If you think about it,  Jude has been at the nannies or with other people caring for him for about a whole half year with me taking care of both of us and sometimes Liz too.  Not all at once, but when you add it up, it is a long time.  So, that part we are used to.  We get by as best we can and cling to each other a lot:) Not to say it is easy, but Jude and I get a rhythm of get up together go to nannies, come home and have a bottle and a cartoon, read a bunch of books, snuggle and go to bed.  In all honesty, there is not much time as I leave for work around 8:20 am in the morning to get Jude to the nannies and then I pick him up around 7:30pm at night and have been putting him to bed at 9pm.  We are BUSY during the week.  It is a routine of get home- get a bottle, feed the dogs and feed myself and get ready for bed. Crash into bed between 9 and 10 for me and get up and do it all over again.

The big difference for me this time is all the alone time.  I basically invited myself over for dinner to a friends on Sunday because I had spent all weekend with just Jude other than random trips to places and one short pre-nap visit to a friends.  He was SUPER good all weekend and all week, but it is REALLY hard for this very social mama to be with just a toddler all day. Fortunately, when I called our friends R and T, they came to the rescue again and let me come over there with Jude for a few hours on Sunday night.  They are soo sweet and save our little family over and over again in so many ways:)

It is only Tuesday.  It feels like my wife has been gone forever and she does not get back until Saturday night.  Jude and I ran all over the place over the weekend.  We went to the part multiple times everyday, went to an October event at the YMCA and to Target and such.

We have Skyped a few times with Liz which has been nice.

The super cool thing about Jude right now is that he is learning about a word a day.  He now can say, “love you, night night, bye, hi, mama, Emma (one of our dogs), dog, cat, more, one and can make the sounds of a dog, cat, bird, cow, sheep, 3 singing pigs(la la la), monkey, lion, dinosaur, bear,  and we have even taught him to tell us what a fox says, which he will dance and make funny noises to. (if you don’t know what I am talking about, google “what does a fox say” and watch the video as it is hilarious).  There is a new word all the time. Yesterday he said “nice” and today he learned “night night”.  It’s pretty amazing to see him learn right before my eyes.  He can also identify animals and colors.  I have been working on counting with him, but he just says, “one, one, one, one” for all the different numbers.  It is still pretty cute.

I love this age.  He is cuddly, but wants his independence.  He pushed me out of his room the other day because he wanted to play by himself.  My little Aquarius is already demanding his alone time:)

Alright, well this tired mama needs to go to bed as we have another long day tomorrow!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Toddler Bed

Jude is officially growing up too fast, about two weeks ago my little baby went from sleeping in a crib to transitioning to a toddler bed.  I guess transition isn’t the right word, he went right from one to the other.  My boy is a natural climber and I think it was only a matter of time before he climbed out of his crib, but I was hoping that wouldn’t happen for another six months at least.  Wrong.  About two weeks ago I put him down for a nap and he was fussy and didn’t want to go down.  So I closed the door to let him cry and about ten minutes later along with the crying I hear a drawer slam shut.  I knew there wasn’t any way in his crib he could reach any drawers so I ran in to investigate.  And there he was, on the ground outside of his crib crying.  Oh boy, he had climbed out.  That day he didn’t end up taking a nap as I couldn’t trust him in the crib.  This was only my second day “back on the job” so to speak after my recovery from my hysterectomy.  I was so tired by the end of the day!  Luckily our crib converts to a toddler bed so I took the front bar off and boom, toddler bed.  He was really tired that night from not napping so he went to sleep easy that night, no problems.

The next day I went again to put him down for a nap and he lays down for about 5 minutes and then realized, hey wait a minute, I can get out of this bed!  So up he jumped and he played around in his room, which is very well baby proofed and stripped down to almost nothing at this point, but then he got up on his toddler bed and from there climbed onto his attached changing table.  Crap!  Luckily we had gotten a video monitor recently so I saw the whole thing.  I ran in and firmly told him no and put him back in his bed where he cried for like .2 seconds and then fell asleep.  I watched that video monitor like a hawk the rest of his nap in fear he would climb on the table again.  Once he got up I took apart the changing table too.

Since then naps and bedtime have gone better than I thought they would have.  About 90% of the time he stays in bed after we put him there and goes to sleep.  The rest of the time he gets up and plays or cries and eventually climbs back into bed and goes to sleep.  The only problem we have really been having is in the middle of the night if he wakes up he is next to impossible to get back down in the toddler bed.  So on those nights he ends up in bed with us, which isn’t too bad for me but a bit worse for S because he likes to sleep on top of her and kicks his little feet the whole time.  Not the best way for mama to sleep!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Jude Pics

This blog has turned into an all Liz all the time sort of place and that is not it’s intention.  So here are some Jude pics to turn things around a bit!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Best. Day. Ever.

My results came back yesterday and everything was stage 1 so I don't need chemo or radiation or anything!!!!! I'm so happy and excited.  I was really worried, even knowing that they had already gotten all of the cancer out, six sessions of chemo is no joke.  Happy dance!  And when S came home we celebrated by going out for sushi at our favorite place.

Another great thing about no chemo is that I get to go to Italy next month!  My brother is going for a beer festival in Rome for his brewery and he is taking me with him!  And we are stretching it out into a vacation and will be going to Milan as well.  So anyone been to Itlay recently?  I went to Europe after high school and was briefly in Italy but of course that was over a decade ago, so I'm sure some things have changed.  Any tips or advice would be appreciated!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Waiting and Enjoying

Waiting waiting waiting.  I'm going to be getting my final test results tomorrow about the cancer.  The preliminary results were two different stage one cancers but its the final results that are important.  So while its unlikely that it would come back as stage 3 Uterian cancer instead of two stage ones, it is still possible.  And the annoying thing is that I called on Friday to ask a few questions and the nurse told me that they had my results in but they couldn't tell me, I'd have to wait for my doctors appointment on Tuesday.  Erg!

In Jude news, he has been getting cuter and cuter.  We have all been really enjoying our time together.  He suddenly can tell you what a cow, cat, dog, bird, lion, monkey, and pig say.  It is adorable.  He is full of smiles and happier than he has been in a long time.  He has started saying more and more, he says yuck the while time you are changing him if its a poopy diaper.  He will grab your hand if you are sitting on the couch to take you to go do whatever it is he wants to do.  He really is just the best kid ever and I can't wait to have him back at home with me.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

The Road to Recovery is Filled With Potholes

I'm just finishing up my second week at home after surgery.  This week has been ultra boring.  Mostly because last weekend my incision started opening up.  Ugh.  So I'm trying to make extra sure I'm not doing anything to make it worse.  I guess this is just something that can happen, it seems like there was just extra fluid that needed to come out and it found a way.  It doesn't hurt or anything, but it looks so gross.  On Saturday we ended up, at the urging of my mom and step dad, at the ER.  They said basically the same thing my doctor did, nothing much you can do about it other than keep a wet/dry bandage on it.  I went and saw my doctor last week on Tuesday and yeah, nothing to do.  But in the meantime I have had a home health care nurse come out everyday to keep an eye on it and change the bandage.  That has been really nice and she will be coming out next week several times as well to check it out.  I'm just really hoping that it doesn't get infected because that would lead to a another hospital stay for some IV antibiotics.  Ugh.

So with going to the ER last week that puts me this year at:
2 Urgent Care Visits
2 ER visits
2 Surgeries
2 Types of Cancer
and 2 Hospital stays.
I guess 2 is my lucky number.  I am so over all of this.  And tired of being so bored.  At least starting next week I'll be able to drive again, that will help.  Not that I can go out and do much at this point, but at least I wont feel so trapped.  And really this week wasn't too bad, almost everyday my best friend Brandon was able to come by at some point and hang out with me.

Another hard thing that we have been dealing with is that on the night of my surgery one of our best friends Melanie killed herself.  She has been a dear dear friend for a long time now and even lived with us three different times.  No one had any clue she was feeling this way and the whole thing has been a terrible shock.  And I just can't stop thinking about it.  I'm so beyond sad while also angry and confused and just plain hurt.  She was one of S's very best friends and so of course S is having a very hard time with it as well.  And poor S was one of the first people Melanie's family called to let know and so she was dealing with that on top of my surgery and the very hard time I was having in the hospital.  She was also having to keep it a secret from me because she knew I couldn't handle it on top of everything else.  Melanie was an amazing person.  She was so kind and generous and loving.  She was a truly unique soul who touched our lives in ways we are still discovering.  We would have done anything for her, given her anything, done everything we could have if she had only reached out for help.  But she didn't want help and that's the hardest part, this is what she chose.   I don't think I'll ever understand.  And I know that this is going to hurt for a very very long time. 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Liz Strong

I'm out of the hospital and doing great!  The hospital stay was rough, I ran a fever for a few days, didn't eat solid food Sunday-Friday and they ended up having to put this crazy pic line thing into my chest through my shoulder because my IV blew and they couldn't get a new one started.  But I really lucky to have so much support to get through it.  S and my mom took turns spending the night with me and between them and a few friends I wasn't ever alone for more than a few hours.  Now I have a clean bill of health. No more cancer!  No chemo!  No more periods!

Yep, no chemo.  The preliminary results came back and I had stage 1 ovarian and stage one uterine cancers.  My doctor feels they got everything out and I shouldn't need to do any chemo.  Yay!

Speaking of no more periods, hello hot flashes.  Surgical menopause sucks, but I'm dealing with it.  And honestly, its a worth while trade, but I can't help but complain.

So now I just have to wait to heal.  My incision is about 12 inches long and today I got the staples taken out.  It hurts but I haven't had to take anything stronger than Advil so far today.  I can't drive for another week and my mom heads back home tomorrow.  I'm going to really miss her.

I have an amazing family, not only has my mom come down for the last two weeks to help us out, S's mom came for two weeks before hand, my dad and brothers came down, S's step mom and step sister came and helped out and even got us new couches while they were here.  But the most amazing thing has been my brothers.  My two younger brothers have a brewery that is really taking off, one of my brothers comes up with the recipes and brews the beers and my youngest brother designs all of the labels.  They have beer all over the US and in Europe and are doing crazy good.  Anyway, they decided that they wanted to help our family out and so they designed a beer for me!  It comes out in October.  Here is the label:

They wanted to call it Liz Strong but were afraid of getting sued.  So it's Eliza5beth, which comes from high school were I saw a book with a similar title and was tired of being one of several Elizabeth's in school and started adding the silent 5.  And then the animals on the label are our dog Pedro and our one eyed cat Malcolm and our tabby PJ.  The cats aren't with us anymore, but they were near and dear to us.  Ok, so even cooler than having a beer named after you is that they are using the money from the profits of the beer to pay for all of my medical bills.  AND they will be using the profits to donate to Uterine and Ovarian Cancer Research and Awareness.  The bigger bottles will come with a bracelet from Uterine and Ovarian Cancer.  So very cool. I cried when the they told me.

Monday, August 5, 2013

out of surgery and on the way to recovery

Liz made it thru surgery.  Dr said she did great!  She is in recovery and they are having some issues with her pain level, but they think they figured it out.  She should get admitted to a room soon and I will be spending the night with her at least tonight if not more.

What a stressful day and am so happy it is over and my wife is going to feel better!! 

The Dr. said that she would not know if Liz had to do chemo or not for up to a month.  Basically, there was for sure uterine cancer and ovarian cancer.  If they were separate issues, then she will not need chemo.  If they were the same cancer spread, then she will need chemo.  It will take a bit for the tests to get back and then they will go from there.  The Dr. said it is not uncommon for someone this age to have 2 primaries, as in it would be 2 separate cases of cancer and as long as they are low grade, she will not need chemo. 

Either way, I am so happy she is out of surgery.  There seem to be 2 different opinions.  1 group thinks like me and is not as worried about the chemo and such and the other side is more worried about the chemo.  I figure, chemo doesn't kill you and surgery can, so I was much more nervous about the surgery.  Either way, a big scary part is over.

The Dr. felt around and said her diaphragm did not have any growths, her other ovary did not look like it had cancer and the lympth nodes seemed fine.  It seems to me that we are moving into the clear, but they will run some tests to confirm. 

Thank you for all the good thoughts and love and good energy and prayers sent our way! 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Surgery Monday

So I meant to update things here after seeing the Oncologist, but obviously didn't get to it.  Sigh.  This week has felt crazy. The appointment went well, though not sure that we have any more answers even though we were there for almost 2 hours. They are running another test to see if they can find out for sure if it is uterine cancer before operating, but they wont know the results of that till tomorrow.  I'm going to be on pins and needles tomorrow waiting for that call. They think I have an ovarian cyst also but aren't sure exactly what it is. So it is possible that I have either uterine cancer or ovarian cancer or both or neither. On Monday they are going to do an open surgery.  They will be taking for sure one ovary and my uterus. They may need to take out my other ovary as well as other stuff depending on if they find cancer or not and what type if they do. I'll be in the hospital 3-5 days. 

My Mom, Dad, and brother are all coming into town to support me and S, which is really nice.  I'm nervous about the whole thing and hoping for the best.  I'll be glad to get this unknown part over with either way.  So, prayers, good vibes, all that sort of stuff is appreciated.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

More Bad News

On Monday I went in and saw the gyno to get a better idea of what the heck is going on with me.   She told me they still didn’t know if it was a fibroid for sure so they ran some tests, a pap smear, another ultrasound and a blood check for ovarian cancer. And they let me know that they were seeing two growths of some sort, couldn’t find my right ovary and one of the growths is 13cm big.

On Wednesday the doctor called and my blood test for the ovarian cancer had come back with elevated levels. So they are transferring me over to Oncology. The specialist got all of my records and I have an appointment Tuesday afternoon with her. They arn’t saying that I have cancer, yet, but the fact that the cancer doctor is now in charge points to the possibility.

I'm still hopeful that this isn't cancer, that it is something else, a cyst or something.  And all of this waiting around is making me crazy.  Especially when I have S's mom in town helping me out with Jude.  I don't feel great so it has been really helpful but she really came down here with the thought that I'd be having surgery like last week, now I don't even find out the plan til Tuesday.  On the upside though our dishwasher also finally died and she bought us a new one as an early Christmas present.  Yay!  Our old one really sucked and never really got anything clean at all.  The new one is much nicer than our old one and for sure an upgrade.  It gets delivered and installed on Wednesday so I'm really excited.

Also because S's mom is here last night she watched Jude for us while we spent the night at a hotel downtown for a little alone time.   It was so so so nice.  We went swimming twice and ordered a bunch of room service and got some yummy Indian food from a place we love down the street, watched a movie, slept in.  So nice. 

I'll post after my appointment on Tuesday afternoon and will hopefully have some good news.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Answering the Big Question

So I'm doing much better, out of the hospital and back at home.  This morning talking with my doctor about what comes next a big question came up that I'm not 100% sure how I want to answer.  The doctor explained with fibroids that they always come back and that even though I'm feeling better I do need surgery to remove mine based on how big it is and that this is something I will be dealing with again and again...unless...I get a hysterectomy. 

So that is the big question, should I just go ahead and do that and be done.  Or do I want to just remove the fibroid for now and deal with it coming back in however long.  I guess the thing is that I'm young enough to still possibly have more children.  And at this point, do I want more children?  How important to me is it that if we do decide to have more children that I have some choice in being able to carry the child?  At this point I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the whole idea, I didn't think that was even an option until just a few hours ago.  I don't think that we for sure want more children at this point, it would be a ways off if we did, and I don't think being actually pregnant is something that I'm really desperately wanting to do.  This is the one time where I feel lucky to be in a lesbian relationship.  At least if I do decide to get the hysterectomy then all that really means is that I won't be able to carry any future children we might want to have, not that we can't have them at all.  It's a big decision.  Thinking, thinking, thinking...

getting better

I finally talked to the Dr. yesterday.  They explained that they think she has a fibroid.  They are just stalling because fibroids slowly die.  Eventually the body cuts off blood flow to them and they die.  They are hoping it will just do this instead of having to do surgery.  I think they will release Liz from the hospital tomorrow unless something comes up on the ultrasound they did yesterday.  the Dr. has not been by to release her yet or read the ultrasound, so we are really just waiting on that. 

It's probably good for her to rest for part of the day. She did not sleep well last night, so she was really tired and nauseous when we were there this morning.  The hospital staff loves little Jude.  We went by there 3 times yesterday and once today already, so they are starting to get to know us and they keep trying to feed Jude graham crackers and ice cream and juice.  Pretty cute.  Of course our picky eater is more excited about the ice they have there because it is about toddler sized bites.  We need a machine that makes ice that size at home! 

My mom is on her way in to take care of Jude.  That is a big relief to know that no matter how the next few weeks go, my mom will be here to take care of Jude and Liz and I can go to work at least for most of the week.  My mom and I don't always get along, but she always comes thru for me when I need her and she is great with Jude and will be a good nurse to Liz too.  She just dropped everything and packed a bag and grabbed her dog and jumped in the car to do the 22 hour drive to get here without saying much other than, "be there as soon as I can and I love you!"  So sweet. 

So, our little family is slowly doing better again.  Keep sending us the healing energy until we are all the way there ;)

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Here we are again in pain limbo

We have had an eventful few days.  On Thurs, Liz called me at work around 5pm. I was on a conference call and she called multiple times.  I was in the middle of doing a million things as I am currently working 2 account sets due to someone quitting. (which is kinda great for my paycheck, but also pretty crazy to do).

When I finally get a hold of her, she says she has been in intense pain all afternoon and I need to come home.  I leave ASAP, which feels like forever when you are trying to wrap things up and drive an hour to your wife who needs you because she is in crazy pain who is also right now in charge of our 16th month old. 

I get home and we go to the Urgent Care up the street.  The thing that makes that at all possible and doable is one of our good friends come to take care of Jude so just Liz and I can go.  They run tests and a very calm, but not too helpful Dr. says, "honestly we have no idea and the test results are weird."  They run more tests and then say they will call us around 10pm when the tests get back and let us know if we need to go to the ER or not.  At the same exact moment that the pharmacist gets to me (aftering waiting in line for quite a while) as I pick up the prescriptions the Dr. has prescribed for her at Urgent care, the Dr. calls and says, "go to the ER".  So, I grab the prescriptions and call the friend who saved us as she was able to come to house and spend the night with Jude (we were in the ER from 10:30pm-4am, so imagine if we had to do that with a sleepy, and confused 16 month old in tow) and we head to the ER.  More tests, more, "I am not sure what it is" going on until they admit her to a room. 

Hospitals are weird because the Dr. sees you once a day and then there is no way to get a hold of them.  This particular Dr. saw Liz yesterday around 6am (I was home with Jude sleeping and not able to be at the hospital) and did not chart nething, so the most neone could tell me yesterday was the information my highly drugged wife had about the whole thing.  It sounds  like what they are doing is making her comfortable thru the weekend and then trying to get her into the practice of a specialist to figure out what to do next.  They keep saying that the pain could just go away and so they want to see if it does.  No one has much information other than that. It could be a cyst or a fibroid or cancer or fluid or so on and so forth.

However, the only data I have on what exactly they are doing is from my wife who as I stated is highly drugged and was when the Dr. came by, so honestly, I have no frickin' idea what is going on.  Another super hero friend is actually staying the night on a palate he made for himself at the hospital with her to get some answers as I have to be here with Jude and can't be there myself.  He works at the hospital and just got off a 12 hour shift to sleep on the floor of the room Liz is in to then go back and work another 12 hour shift.  I tell you, our friends are super heroes and we would not survive without them.

So here we are again.  The pain waiting game with no timeline or end in sight.  I am waiting to figure out what the heck is going on with my wife that makes her in so much pain that they are just IVing her drugs, so that we can figure out what the next step is so that we can figure out what we do with our little family for the time being and moving forward and when Liz is going to not be in pain.  As my mom said, she has had enough pain this year for her lifetime quota.

I need to work to pay bills and not just the regular bills, but the medical bills that are just piling up from all of this, but life is in such a limbo that it it hard to do and figure out where Jude is going to go and what kind of help we will need and what is going to happen to my poor wife and so on and so forth.  I went into work yesterday just to be sent home in 30 mins because I was a mess and my boss is a super nice guy.  But, in sales, time missed is money missed, so I can't take too much time off considering I just took a ton of time off when we went thru this the first time.   

I just hope the Dr. calls me when she is there this morning because being in pain limbo sucks for all of us. 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

Ok so I know I am behind on here.  And I feel like lots of stuff has happened.  Bullet points to get the most information out before I give up and go to bed:

*We went on a vacation to Oklahoma for a week to see family and friends.  We had a great time.  Jude was really very good in the car but bedtime was another story.  Ended up co sleeping more than half of the trip. 
*When we got back from vacation I accidentally slammed the laptop onto the tile and it now has a giant un-viewable four inch strip across the middle of the screen.  Thus I am not blogging or reading many blogs.  :(
*Jude still won't really eat anything, but somehow manages to be full of energy and adorable 90% of the time
*We are now keeping Jude and the dogs pretty separate because last week he was playing too rough with our dog Emma and she bit him in the face.  Hard enough to draw blood, it was scary even though it was his fault for the most part.
*I have had two bladder infections in the last month.  Ugh they suck so much and I've never really gotten them before so I really hope this isn't my new thing.  At least my doctor assured me that it wasn't from swimming too much as my mom thinks.
*S is being a super star at her job and I am so proud of her.  She has a job in sales and is two weeks away from her end of quarter.  I made a deal with her last night that if she hits a certain high number before the end of the quarter that I'll get up with Jude in the morning both Saturday and Sunday one weekend, a huge prize in this  house seeing as how Jude gets up anywhere between 5:30-7am most days.
*Counting the days till our next vacation.  End of next month we are going to California to visit S's parents.  Might get married while we are there if we can make it work.  Exciting!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mama is Tired

We had one of those nights last night.  You know the sort, little dude woke up at 4am for no apparent reason.  Gave him food, cough medicine (he had been coughing all night on and off), cuddled, watched cartoons and yet, no sleep.  Finally at almost 6am I managed to get him back into his crib and off to sleep.  Thank goodness, because at that point I think it goes without saying, Mama was TIRED.  But then he was happy and awake again at 8:30 (I could have slept another 4 hours or so, but he didn’t ask me).  So now our schedule for the day is super off.  Jude is just now going down for a nap and because of the giant cup of coffee I drank to keep myself from falling asleep on the couch I am wide awake.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It’s Getting HOT In Here!

So take off all your clothes, I am getting so HOT….Yeah it’s only June 11th and Austin already feels like a Nelly song.  The temperature has been in the upper 90’s and it will probably hit 100 soon.  That’s the thing that sucks about living here, the heat is unbearable and it feels like it goes on forever, which I guess it does because it won’t really cool down here until September/October.  So, the question is, what do you SAHM do all summer long with a very active toddler who pretty much only wants to be outside?

So far we have been spending early mornings at the park when it isn’t too hot.  We have also hit up a few local pools but Jude doesn’t seem to like being in the water much, but I’m really hopping he changes his mind on that one.  We also discovered an inflatable play place that has a toddler section that is free till 2 (well it is supposed to be just free till 1 but they don’t actually charge until 2 years old, which is good because we don’t have extra money to blow on something like that).  What else is everyone doing?  When his Grandma was in town last weekend she bought him this awesome slide thing and having that to crawl around/climb on has helped.  I know it is supposed to be a backyard toy but like I said, it’s HOT, so it is staying in the living room for the time being.

 The slide
At the park

He does enjoy his water table thing

And the baby pool


Friday, June 7, 2013

5 Years And Going Strong!

Today is our five year wedding anniversary.  It seems like just yesterday we had our sweet little backyard wedding and now today Jude and spent the afternoon playing in that same backyard.  My my how things change.  I know that being parents isn’t quite as glamorous as we thought, and being a couple certainly has taken a back seat to being mamas, but I’m still just as happy and in love as they day we said I do.  Happy Anniversary baby!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Incredible Shrinking Baby!

Yesterday I took Jude in for his 15 months appointment (though he is almost 16 months already!) and while he is doing great developmentally, he is shrinking.  I of course can’t find the sheet of paper with his exact stats on it but I remember he weighed in at 22lbs putting him in the 31% for weight and for height he was in the 35% and for head size he was in the 13%.  And not that these stats are terrible, but according to their records he hasn’t grown at all since his last check up height wise (they said he shrunk actually and is shorter, but I don’t believe that, I think it must be a mistake on someones part), his head size hasn’t changed and he weighed a pound and a half more last month when he came in sick with an ear infection.  So he is for sure loosing weight at this point.  Ugh.

We talked a lot about his diet and our concerns that he is pretty much only eating fruit and won’t really drink milk out of the sippy cup and obviously isn’t eating enough.  So we are doing a few things to combat this, first our pediatrician is having us give him a bottle of Pediasure at bedtime to be sure he is getting all of the iron and protein he needs along with some extra calories.  I know, we get him off bottles finally only to be told to go back to giving him a bottle.  But she wanted to be sure he’d actually drink it and we are only going to be doing this for a month (assuming when we go in a month that he has gained weight and is eating better).  Also we are changing how we are feeding him.  Before we would be worried that he was hungry and so we’d offer him fruit and snacks all day long to try to get him to eat something.  And I think after talking about it that our method was keeping him from ever really getting hungry, which is why he wouldn’t ever really sit down to a meal.  So now he is on a stricter schedule of eating two snacks and three meals a day. Also, for his meals he isn’t going to be offered any fruit, though we will still give him fruit for snacks and go back to giving it at meals once he gets used to eating other stuff.  And so far it has really worked!  Yesterday before his appointment he would only eat his yogurt smoothie and some blueberries for breakfast and at lunch all he would eat is a cutie. But that afternoon I held off on giving him anything other than one tiny snack so at dinner he scarfed down some grilled chicken, edamame, cheese and a cup of milk!  I seriously have never seen him eat a bite of chicken or drink more than a sip of milk out of a cup, so it was awesome!  He only drank about 4 ounces of the Pediasure at bedtime but I think that was because the flavor was not what he was used to in a bottle and he just wasn’t super hungry because of his big dinner.  And then today he had his morning breakfast smoothie but then we held off until right before his 11:00 nap to do anything else and he totally ate scrambled eggs and breakfast sausage and a cutie!  Again, I’ve never been able to get him to eat eggs before and I’ve only seen him eat like two bites of sausage.  So awesome!  And he is in such a better mood too now that he is finally getting some real food in his tummy!

So we are going to keep working at it and hopefully next month we will see some progress when we go back in!  I hate being worried that my baby isn’t doing well!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Fun weekend with pics

We just had my dad and his wife and their two kids come in.  That also meant that my brother and his girlfriend came in, which meant that his best friend and kiddo and her parents came in.  whew, it was a house full Sat night when everyone came by.  It was a really good visit.  I have to say my fav part was the photos.  Here are a few from the photo shoot. And this week, Liz gets Jude back full time!!! I am sure he is going to wear her out, but we are really excited for her to be fully recovered and back to stay at home mama :)

Love that smile!

                           My little family
 My brother and me being weird, which Jude thinks is hilarious!
 Like father, like daughter and son:)
                            The whole crew

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sayonara Bottles!

Over the weekend we finally finally weaned Jude off bottles.  We have been putting it off and putting it off even though at our 12 month check up our pediatrician was pretty clear that it needed to happen very soon.  And as we have our 15 month check up next week, it was time.  Before weaning off bottles Jude was drinking on average two a day, one 4-6 ounce bottle (of organic whole milk) first thing in the morning and one 4-6 ounce bottle before bed.  But we were on weekends when he was home with us all day probably giving him one more bottle at some point during the day.  There is just something about having a bottle that calms him down in a way few things do.  So that combined with the fact that we didn’t really understand why he couldn’t/shouldn’t have bottles anymore kept us from fulling weaning.  I did some research online and based on how Jude chugs the bottles down in one sitting and isn’t drinking on them all day, it didn’t seem like too big of a deal.  The main problem with kids having bottles long term seems to be the rotted teeth they get from the constant sugar on their teeth from drinking milk all day long.  And from what I read, sippy cups arn’t any better for this, it’s whats in the bottle/sippy cup that is the problem.  Plus they need to learn to drink from cups, which Jude totally does all day long, just mostly he drinks water out of them.  But the problem that we did have that is a factor is that toddlers who still drink bottles end up drinking too much milk and then don’t eat as well.  And if you read this blog regularly at all you know that Jude isn’t a big eater.  So, bye bye bottles it was.

And it wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be.  On Saturday morning instead of giving him a bottle I gave him a sippy cup of milk and turned on Sesame Street.  And he drank about half of the milk before he realized he had been tricked.  And even though he spent all weekend signing that he was wanting a bottle, we kept firm despite a few fits that if he wanted milk it was in a sippy cup only. So now, on Tuesday after a few days of this I think he is starting to get the message and while he doesn’t wake up and get a bottle and pretty much refuses the sippy cup of milk, he does get up and eat breakfast and has generally been a happy camper.  I worry that he isn’t drinking enough now in general and I worry that he isn’t getting as much milk as he needs (he has probably averaged about 6 ounces total a day between multiple sippy cups through the day), I know it will all even out.  Today so far he has been doing a great job drinking water out of his sippy cup and he loves yogurt, yogurt smoothies and cheese sticks, so surly he is getting enough dairy.  I’m so glad we have made this progress before his big appointment.  Sayonara bottles!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Sweetest Kisses

Every night we have the same bedtime routine with Jude, at 8:00 we settle into our bed with a bottle (which we are going to try to wean off of this weekend, ugh) and a big pile of books.  And we read and read until Jude is either no longer interested or we run out of books.  Then he plays crazy bounce on the bed time with S while I cheer and tickle him at opportune moments.  After we get all of the sillies out he brushes his teeth, gives me a kiss and then S takes him into his room that is all ready for bed, sings him three songs and off he goes.

Last night we did our normal routine and then while S was singing him songs he kept blowing kisses and pointing at the door.  She put him down to see what he wanted and he ran right into our room, got hoisted onto the bed where I was laying and got himself snuggled into my arms wanting more kisses.  It was the sweetest thing he has ever done.  I must have kissed his little face ten thousand times right then and he giggled and smiled through it all, then went off happily to bed.  I went to bed with such a happy, full heart.  This is the magic of parenting that makes everything so worth it.  

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Being 31 Is Lovely

I am a bad blogger these days.  I have so much time on my hands right now to blog and at the same time nothing to say.  There just isn’t much going on of interest without my little Jude here.  But this last weekend was a great one.  My birthday fell on Mother’s day this year which won’t happen again until 2019.  And so we celebrated all weekend long.  On Saturday we got up and went to the downtown mecca Whole Foods for breakfast tacos and to pick out a birthday cake for me.  I love wandering around Whole Foods, which started in Austin, so the downtown store is pretty amazing.  Of course we went for just breakfast and cake but ended up spending too much money, grabbing fancy chocolate bars, the best organic strawberries I have ever had in my life, fresh raspberries which Jude loves putting on the tips of his fingers before eating them, fresh cherries and a few other goodies.  Then that night one of my best friends Lauren threw me a garden birthday party.  It was so much fun, hanging in the backyard, playing games, eating yummy food, a fire when it got dark and of course lovely drinks.  And a friend I hadn’t seen since high school was randomly in town and came over along with her darling little boy who is 4 and had a blast playing with Jude.
The lovely Lauren and I 

Jude being a little explorer

On Sunday S got up and made us breakfast, scrambled eggs, croissants, brown sugar bacon and mimosas.  And when Jude went down for a nap a friend came over and babysat while we went to the movies.  We went and saw The Great and Powerful Oz, which I really enjoyed but S did not.  But it was so nice to go do something just the two of us, between a lack of babysitters and my general inability to go do things when the pain was bad, we hadn’t been out together since Christmas.  

Last year for my birthday I posted 30 Things I didn’t Know When I was 20.  And that was fun but I don’t think that being 31 has lead to many new insights.  It feels the same as 30.  But it is super lovely.  So instead, 31 things that I love:
1. My new Micheal Kors purse
2. Fresh cherries
3. When I manage to look nice in a picture
4. Wearing a size smaller clothing than I did last year
5. Having a toddler who (mostly) sleeps through the night
6.  Having a wonderful wife
7.  Being such good friend with my mom
8. Our Roku 
9. Steak
10. Swimming
11. Dark chocolate with sea salt
12. Pandora , specifically my Madonna station
13. Pedicures
14. Fresh herbs- basil and cilantro are my favorites these days
15. All of my wonderful best friends.  Not many people have as many best friends as I do.  So lucky.
16. My kindle , especially now that I have it set up to get free ebooks from the library.  Genius.
17. Just Jude in general
22. Going to the movies
23. Buffalo Wings
24. Being able to take a shower again
25. Life after surgery
26. My Keurig
27. Barton Springs Pool
28. Jude saying Mama
29. Bacon
30. Being a SAHM and getting my Jude back soon!
31. Shopping at Target

A random list, but still fun.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Ear Infections for Everyone!

Jude and S both have slight ear infections right now.  Poor things.  S woke up this morning super dizzy to the point of throwing up and Jude has been a snotty, congested, coughing mess for the last two days. I think he has a cold/allergies (S and I are both going crazy right now with allergies) and he keeps messing with his ear so they both went to the doctor today.  S for sure has an ear infection and got some meds and Jude is possibly getting one, so we are going to just keep an eye on it and see which way it goes.  I hope he doesn’t end up getting one, he already feels bad enough as it is.  This will be his 3rd sickness in 4 weeks.  I hate it when my babies arn’t feeling good!

Surprisingly enough though Jude has been in such a good mood.  This last week or so has felt like having my boy back.  He seems so much happier and has started wanting to sit on my lap and hug me and be with me, where before he was really only interested in and clung to S.  So me being more and more involved has been good for all of us.  Yesterday and most of today he was home with me (I had help, still can’t pick him up for another two weeks) and though it was tiring even with help, it was so nice to have him here.  I miss him and I can’t wait to take him back.  I was looking at a calendar this week and because his nanny has an appointment for her son out of town on the 21st, that will be the first full day I will have him back all by myself  but he will be back at the nanny’s for the rest of the week.  Then the following week I will take him back full time with the exception of the 2-3 times a week I do physical therapy, but that will only put him back at her house for about two hours each time.  I can’t wait.  Though after almost two days in a row with him and him being sick so he was a bit of extra work, I am looking forward to spending tomorrow relaxing!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Texas Bluebonnets

Around here a flower called a bluebonnet blooms up and down the side of the highways and in fields and all sorts of random places.  And it is a Texas parenting tradition to take your kid out into the flowers and take pictures.  We look some great ones last year and managed to get some good ones again this year.

Isn’t he the cutest?

If feels like a long time since we were last able to get a smiling picture of Jude.  Things have been better since S’s last post though.  That post came after two weeks in a row of Jude being sick.  First he got Roseola two weeks ago and then last week he got Mouth, Hand, and Foot disease, which has been a real doozy.  Combine that with my issues, my surgery, and everything else have led to some instability, all while he wasn’t feeling good.  And we appreciate everyone’s comments.  It is so nice to know that Jude isn’t the only kid going crazy like this, though I do have to point out that he is only 14 months, not 2 or 3 years old.  So he is young for this type of behavior and also I think a bit young for really understanding any sort of punishment.  We have started doing 1 minute time outs in his crib when he is really throwing a fit or doing something naughty like hitting.  And now our nanny is doing this with him as well.  I don’t know if it is helping or if it is me being much more involved this week, but he is doing better.  We will get through this and he is going to be just fine.  He is at home with me today with my friend Tara helping me (because I still can’t pick him up) and he is being great.  Hopefully I can get some more smiling pictures today :)

Sunday, April 21, 2013


I am starting to think I am not cut out to be a mom.  I know, crazy statement to say, but I fear it might be true.  a little late to figure it out.

Liz is still 4 weeks away from really being able to take care of Jude.  She cannot lift him for 4 more weeks and the kid is clingy.  He is crazy fit throwing and clingy.  He screams like someone is hurting him when you change his diaper and spends the whole time thrashing, kicking, and trying to turn over. He screams and throws himself to the floor when he does not get his way or when he just feels like it.  He thinks it’s funny when you tell him to not do something and he does it and either gets a kick out of the rebellion or throws a crazy fit.  He was fun yesterday.  That was the only day I can remember in a LONG time that he was fun.

I don’t really know what all this means as I am at my wits end with him.  I have started saying things like, “quit being such a jerk” to him.  Not appropriate.  All he wants to do it watch TV and drink milk.  2 things I would really like for him to get away from, but the only things that seem to make him happy.  He will not eat much other than bottles.

At the nannies, he is a whole different kid most of the time.  He eats, smiles, plays and does not go crazy every few seconds.  I think he is different and behaves better for Liz too.  I am starting to really think he acts crazy around me mostly.  And he makes me NUTS!  Totally, insanely NUTS!  I do not have the patients for him.  I don’t know when he is going to quit acting like such a maniac.  If ever.  I miss my cuddly, sweet, smiling boy.  Where did he go?  Is he coming back?  Ever?

So very frustrated and confused.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

It’s Getting Better All the Time

Today I graduated out of Pain Management.  It is so amazing after all that I have been through for the last six months to no longer need it.  I feel like a new person.  An easily tired person, but a new person. In the last week I have had friends over, cooked dinner, went shopping, cleaned, showered and done all sorts of things that I physically couldn’t do before surgery. What a life saver that surgery was.

In Jude news, he is doing really well over at his nanny’s house.  He is learning to sign as she has a deaf son two months older than him and that has been really good for him.  So far he seems to know hungry, more, done, and want.  He doesn’t seem to hate us anymore and is back to his semi happy semi moody ways.  I miss him so much during the day but I don’t have the energy or the physical capability of taking care of him yet.  I can’t even pick him up yet.  I see my surgeon on Thursday and hopefully can start physical therapy soon and get on the path back to having him home with me again.  I hope it is soon but at the same time I’m really nervous about hurting myself, so we are taking it very slow.

Not really anything else going on.  Hopefully I will make something crafty this week to share, it has been too long since I’ve been working in my studio!

Friday, April 12, 2013

{this moment} Strawberry Bliss

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.  Inspired by Two Moms to Be

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Withdrawal Ain’t Pretty

Well after my sad sack post yesterday a good friend saw it and immediately knew what was going on- I was going through withdrawals from stopping my pain meds.  Luckily she was able to come right over and keep me from losing it and had me call my doctor to see what to do.  So now I’ve gotten a few withdrawal meds to help me through the week and I already feel a lot better.  I guess I just never really realized what serious drugs I was taking and I was taking quite a lot.  And my reasoning was when the nurse at the doctors office was like why would you do that is that they were for pain and I wasn’t in any pain anymore so I didn’t see a reason to keep taking them.  I have a few other meds that I know I can’t just stop taking cold turkey that I need to be weened off them, but no one ever warned me about these.  I guess because of a few small incidents with the office they thought I was a pill seeker and wouldn’t want to stop taking them, which is sucky and judgemental on their part.  But oh well, I’m on the mend and the pain killers are hidden away so there is no temptation and I think I’m not going to cry all day to today, so that makes for a much better day!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Home Alone and Sad

I don’t know whats wrong with me today, but something is.  I’ve been looking forward to today, the first day at home by myself after surgery.  I feel great, I’m only taking some Tylenol at this point and physically can do what I want aside from pick up Jude.  But I’m so sad and I don’t know why.  I’ve been crying all morning for no good reason at all.  Am I depressed?  I know I have been depressed with all of this going on but now everything is better.  It’s been five days now since surgery so surly it’s not from the anesthesia at this point (I had a weepy day or two after surgery which I think was from the anesthesia).  I don’t know.  I can do whatever I want and all I can manage to do so far is lay in bed and cry.

Speaking of crying, Jude has been out of control crying boy around here.  Again, I don’t know what it is, as he is in a great mood for his sitter or anyone else watching him, but if we are at home and inside then he is crying and throwing a fit 90% of the time.  It is exhausting and it really feels so personal, like he hates us.  This weekend wasn’t too bad but then we also stayed as busy as possible and went outside and out and about as much as possible.  Poor S is so tired as being post surgery I can’t keep up with him or pick him up yet.  She needs a vacation from this crying family of hers!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Surgery Update

Just wanted to say that I got surgery yesterday on my back.  They did a microdiscectomy and were able  to remove a lot of the herniated disk.  The whole thing was super quick, we got there around 9:30 and were on our way home by a bit after 3:30.  Yep, home.  My mom is here helping me and recovery so far is going well.  I feel a bit like I’ve been hit by a bus, very sore and stiff, BUT my leg that has been bothering me so much feels pretty much normal!  Yay!
I’m sure I’ll be posting a ton in the next few weeks as I’ll be home alone recovering.  I’m so glad to have this over with.  And so very grateful for and overwhelmed by  the amazing generosity and love that I have been getting my both my wonderful friends and family.  I am truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life.
Life is good.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter!

We had a little easter egg hunt this morning in the backyard.  Jude took the egg hunting very seriously and did such a good job gathering up all of the eggs in his Easter bucket.  Happy Easter everyone!

Too bad the dog is photo bombing in the background

Friday, March 29, 2013

Surgery on Tuesday?

Well S and I met with the surgeon yesterday to talk about treatment for my herniated disc.  He went over the MRI with us and even with no medical training you could tell there was something wrong.  He also had me do a few tests- bend this way, walk over here, etc. that I thought were pretty pointless considering he could see on the MRI how bad things were and knew how much pain it put me in to do these tests.  But oh well, I have found that people do not know how to deal with people who are in pain.  There is just no accommodation at all.  For example, for my most recent appointment at my Pain Specialist I knew that sometimes there can be a bit of a wait to see a doctor and that the waiting room doesn’t have any couches or anything you could lay down on and wait.  And as it brings me to tears even on Percocct to sit or stand for more than a minute, literally, I knew that this wasn’t going to be good. So I called the day before to see if they could some how accommodate me with having some place ready for me to lay down and wait to see the doctor.  And this request just blew their minds, they didn’t have any idea how they could possibly make that happen for me, even when I told them, look it is either you find something for me or I just lay down on the floor of the lobby and weird everyone out.  Finally the solution that I came up with is for S to go in and check me in and I stay in the car laying down until she calls me to tell me they are ready for me.  Geez, it is a freaking Pain Specialist, am I really in more pain then anyone else they ever see?  Must be.   Same thing at the Spinal Specialist, S goes and checks me in while I stay in the car.  They get a room ready for me so I come in and they want me to take my picture and sign a Hippa paper.  There is a tiny couch in there and so I lay down.  The lady calls me up but there is an old man doing whatever at the desk and I have to wait for him to finish, with tears in my eyes.  Really?  You couldn’t let me lay down for 2 minutes longer and call me up when you are really ready for me.  Made me so mad.

Anyway, back to the surgeon.  He said that surgery was pretty much my only option at this point, which we knew going into the appointment.  The operation will take about two hours, I’ll be in recovery for about two hours and then I’ll be able to go home that same day.  Crazy.  And it sounds like afterwards I will feel some immediate pain relief and  within a week or two be pretty darn normal, just taking it easy so I don’t hurt myself.  And we are possibly doing the surgery as soon as Tuesday of next week.  But we won’t know for sure until Monday because of the offices and such being closed for Good Friday.  I hope we can do Tuesday, I’m going crazy just sitting here.  I miss being able to take showers, sleep through the night, pick up and hold my baby, cook dinner, all of the little stuff.  I want to be better so badly.  Fingers crossed that this happens soon and that it is the answer I hope it will be.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Best Part

A close friend of mine told me yesterday that her and her husband were going to start trying to get pregnant soon.  And we talked about all sorts of baby stuff how annoying strangers are when you are pregnant and how terribly judgemental other parents can be, stuff like that.  And she asked me what’s the best part of being a parent.  All I could come up with on the spot is snuggling, but there is so much more that is the best part.  Here is by no means an exhaustive list:
-When I first saw Jude’s tiny perfect face and all of time stood still
-How when Jude was a little baby he liked to nuzzle his little face right under your chin so he could have his nose pressed up against your throat
-How sometimes when he is crying I can go over and pick him up and he immediately stops because me holding him just makes everything better
-When he sleeps he looks so peaceful that it makes me wish we had a video monitor so I could just watch him sleep all of the time
-Jude loves to make us laugh.  His new thing is to come over to me and press his cute little face against my arm and make fart noises on it.  And it cracks us up and he gets this proud smile and wants to do it over and over again because he loves making us laugh and be happy.
-How one day when I was sad and crying he came over to me (I was laying on the floor) and lays down next to me and tucked his little body into my arms.  And he was so sweet to me, coming over and putting his hand on my face and trying to make silly faces to cheer me up, which is amazing to me that a 10 month old (at the time) could be so perceptive of someone elses emotions.
-How we have trained him to go “Ah” after each drink he takes of something and how he will now do it in the middle of eating a bottle or even after taking a drink of something he doesn’t like he will make a sour face but still go “Ah”
-I love how he laughs when you tickle his legs and how every night before bed we have bottle book time and then S bounces him all around the bed crazy like, making him laugh and shout with glee to get all of his sillies out.
-How totally wild his hair was when he was a baby
-Really pretty much all of it is the best part.  I’m totally in love with my little boy and the family that we have created.  There is nothing like the happiness that we have found.