Thursday, April 28, 2011

Baby Mix

So I love to make mix CDs.  You might remember my “One Hit Wonder” CD I made S a month or two ago.  Well, tonight I made another CD, this time the songs have the theme of all having “Baby” in the title. I think it is a great, fun mix and that in some sort of cosmic way, little things like this help.  So I encourage you to make your own mix, there are tons of songs out there that have Baby in the title.  Or just use my list and put together a youtube playlist, I know all of these songs are on it.  Enjoy!

Baby Mix- PUPO- Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise
1. Be My Baby- The Ronettes
2. Hey Baby- No Doubt
3.  Don’t Worry Baby- The Beach Boys
4. Always be My Baby- Mariah Carey
5. Run Baby Run- Sheryl Crow
6.  Baby, Baby- Amy Grant
7.  Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing- Chris Isaak
8.  Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice
9.  Baby- Justin Bieber
10.  Baby Baby Baby- TLC
11.  Baby Love- The Supremes
12.  Baby You Can Drive My Car- The Beatles
13.  Baby Boy- Beyonce
14.  Baby One More Time- Britney Spears
15.  Baby I Need Your Loving- The Four Tops
16.  I’m Your Baby Tonight- Whitney Houston
17.  All That She Wants (Is Another Baby)- Ace of Base

I think that the last song is particularly funny, personally.

3 Day Count Down!!

Well after one horrible night curled up in bed being miserable, and two days of S reassuring me that everything is going to be okay, I’m back to feeling excited about our upcoming insemination.  I can’t believe that we are so close.  Today is CD 12 or 13 for S (not sure off the top of my head), so S is diligently peeing on OPKs three times a day, burning her moxa, taking her prenatal vitamins, and getting acupuncture done.  She actually has gone a few times and goes in again tomorrow after work.  So we are hoping that our insemination date will be 5/1 or 5/2.  So close! 

I’m really hoping that it will be on 5/1 because that is a Sunday and I have the day off.  I work Monday-Friday, and I’m teaching a class that ends on 5/2 so I couldn’t go at all if it was on 5/2, but I have more flexibility on 5/3 and we both have off 5/4 to send the day together and possibly inseminate if needed.  Either way we are doing two IUIs, I believe 24 hours apart, so I should be able to go to one of the two, no matter what day it falls on.  The little swimmers arrived safe and sound on Monday at the doctor’s office so we are good to go there.  Our office has their own cryo-tank and lets us store the sperm for free, so that makes the shipping part of all of this super easy.  It’s all happening, after so much waiting and planning, the big day is drawing near.  

So if everyone would put good baby vibes out into the world for us this next 4 days, we’d appreciate it!  I keep chanting in my head, “One Hit Wonder” and will be breaking out my One Hit Wonders mix CD tonight to jam out to in the car for the rest of the week.  Can anyone think of anything else we can be doing to up the chances?  Any one know any old wives tales about eating something particular or anything like that?  Just wondering.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Full of Doubt

Now that we are about a week-ish away from doing our first insemination, it seems like we are getting cold feet.  We discussed for last night all of the things that are worrying us about having a baby and it feels like instead of feeling better about our worries, we feel worse.  The main worries are about money and me quitting my job to stay at home with the little bambino.  Can we really live off of $30,000 less, even for a year?  And what about me having health insurance?  It is really ok for me to be uninsured, for a year or possibly more?  And if not, can we afford the cost of me having private insurance, even crappy private insurance?  And there just aren’t many solutions.  I’m not too worried about not having health insurance for this time but my mother sure is worried about it, which makes me worried.  I looked into it this morning and it looks like it would be about $1,000-$1,500 a year to have the insurance, which isn’t great but isn’t impossible either.  Also, I could go back to working at least part time earlier than a year if we started to really struggle.  It would just be a matter of finding cheap enough day care for while I was at work to make my working worth while.  And there are a few options for part time work that would include health insurance, but none of them would put me any closer to becoming a teacher, which is ultimately what I want to do.  

All I can say to all of this I guess is that I hope that this sort of freak out is normal and that there are solutions to all of this going hell, just not solutions I like.  Also, while we could be in a better place to have a baby in a lot of ways, there is ALWAYS room for improvement.  So even if we had $10,000 saved up and could put me on S’s insurance then we’d still probably come up with reasons to be worried.  There will never be a perfect time and we will figure this out.  I’m going to try now that I’ve gotten that out of my system to be positive because S can’t handle anyone being negative but her.  It’s a lot of pressure to always be the positive one though.

I think that the other reason I’m feeling so sour today is that thanks to bad choices and Easter potluck, I gained 1.2 lbs this week.  Oh and I made myself a great lunch today to take to work only to leave it on the counter at home.  Lame.  I think I have a case of the Mondays. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

No drugs please, I have my rocks!

I ordered the viles today.  It was a pain because people could not look up the information correctly, but finally I got someone who knew what they were doing and they will arrive at my Drs. office on Monday!  The nurse seems to think I will ovulate before day 17 now that my thyroid is on track.  That means we could be inseminating as soon as 10 days from now!  I am uber excited!  I read thru our donor’s profile and information again this morning before I placed the order and I am still happy with this one.
I was surprised the Dr. pushed so hard yesterday for me to sign up on one of his packages.  He knew when I came in what I was looking for and he was trying to bully me into doing tabs now.  I don’t want to this time around.  I stood my ground, but he was obviously upset by it.  He then made me pay for the IUI right then instead of day of.  I think I finally put 2 and 2 together and he thought I was using him for the ultrasound and then would go and do the insemination somewhere else.  That was not my intention, but I think that is why he was so weird about it all.  Oh well.  I am happy to try it normally once and then do the ultrasound and drugs he wants.  I know his job is to make it happen ASAP and the things he wants to do assure that happens, but I want to see if my little eggs can do it on their own once before all the other stuff. My mother was very fertile and even with my thyroid being so far off, I was still very regular.  He looked at the uterus and follicles and took some hormone tests and so far everything is normal.  I have as good a chance as any to get preggie:)
I am such a hippie about the whole thing.  I say no to his drugs, but I am everyday burning moxa, once a week doing acupuncture, and wearing a bracelet that is supposed to have fertile stones on it.  I also just put a big quarts with the same stones on it next to my bed.  No thank you Dr, I don’t want your drugs…I have my rocks!;)
On another note, my pug Pedro seems very confused by the moxa.  Every time I burn it, he leans on me and looks at me all concerned.  I am not sure if he thinks I am lighting myself on fire or if he is just not happy with how it smells, but he feels I need comforting when I am burning the moxa.  It’s really cute.  He is the dog that will be excited to have a kid in the house.  We were walking the other day and he ran up to a kid, licked his hand and then sat wagging his tail while the kiddo pet his head.  Emma on the other hand growled and ran off.  She’ll have to learn to like the kiddo.  L already looked up techniques to help the transition with the animals, so we will try those.
Well, I better get to work!  So soon to being a One Hit Wonder!:)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

RE Visit #2

I just talked to S a little bit ago and she just got done with her CD3 RE check up.  Looks like all of the little eggs/follicles are doing good and while she does have a cyst, it is small and no big deal.  The RE also checked to see if there would be any problems with the actual insemination and that is all clear too.  So it looks like we are good to go, but I think that the RE upset S a little bit with how aggressive he wants to be with fertility treatments.  He wants us to basically spend an additional $1,300 on this cycle in addition to the $2,000 we are already spending to do ultrasounds and add a few different fertility drugs depending on how the CD10 ultrasounds go.  Now, I’ve been reading all of your different blogs (those of you who are TTC) and I know this is pretty normal that he would want to do this.  But S isn’t a big blog reader and so I think she was surprised that he wanted to do all of this right away.  Plus she is on her period so she might be a bit sensitive.  And I know that he wants to do all of the testing and drugs just to ensure that we get pregnant as fast as possible (and I’m sure to make his stats look good), but we really do want to try to do this as natural as possible, at least the first try.  We have no reason to think that anything is wrong with S and that this won’t work.  She has very regular cycles and now that the thyroid is in check, is perfectly healthy and is only 29.  I’m proud that S stood up to his doctor bullying ways and said no, that we will try this without all of this extra stuff added on.  

But this brings me to a question for you all, how quickly did you/would you get aggressive about TTC?  It does seem like a big waste of money to spend $2,000 a month and still not be doing everything we can to get pregnant.  I think that S wants to do two unassisted cycles before moving onto the ultrasound/drug song and dance, but I think that we should do just one cycle and then move on.  Really if S was down to do it the first time though I would do it.  But I understand why she doesn’t want it and I support it.  I just can’t stomach spending $4,000, $6,000, $8,000 etc. to try doing the same exact thing over and over again when we can just spend extra on the second cycle and up our chances.  Obviously I hope/wish/think we will get pregnant on the first try, considering S’s conditions above and along with the fact that we have been charting her ovulation for the past three months and will be doing two IUI’s this cycle.  I guess it’s just the money that blows my mind and the thought of waiting a single second later to meet my future child that kills me.  I guess we will just have to see what the next 30 days holds and make decisions once we get to that next bridge.  But I really am curious about all of your opinions on this.

Monday, April 18, 2011

2 Down!

I just wanted to tell ya'll (I'm allowed to say that, I'm in Texas) that I lost another 2 lbs this week!  That puts me at 6.5 lbs! 

Also, yesterday S started cycle day 1 and it is very exciting to think that this could be her very last visit from Aunt Flo for the year!!


Friday, April 15, 2011

18 Day Count Down!

There are only 18-19 days before we do our first inseminations!  S should be starting cycle day 1 on Sunday, which for the first time ever, is so exciting!  It has been blowing my mind these last few days to think that this time next month, S could be pregnant.  Alright so technically if we did the IUI on 5/3 and 5/4 our two week wait wouldn’t officially be over until the 18th, but I know us and I know that by the 15th we will have tested.  While I’m skeptical that the first time will work (it just seems so arrogant after reading all your struggles, my fellow lesbian TTC blog friends, to think that we will be different and end up being a one hit wonder),  but I can’t help but thinking, just maybe it will happen.  And it still boggles me that our doctors/the world are going to let us try to do this.  It still feels like we need some sort of certification, like we should pass a class or test and have a license that we would show at the RE’s office that says “This couple is officially licensed to have a baby and become parents.”  I know that is silly, but man, maybe that should exist.  There are so many dumb people out there having kids on accident that they don’t want.  Don’t even get me started on that.

So I guess this means that we will need to next week order the little swimmers and S will go in on Tuesday probably for her beginning of the cycle testing the RE wants to do, whatever that entails.  

And one picture to leave you with.  I’m a bit of a painter and I’ve been working on a painting for S that I finished (mostly finished) last night.  It was so cute, I finished it while we were watching a movie (Love and Other Drugs- which we didn’t finish and didn’t really impress us much) and once it was done S propped it up on a chair next to the TV and every time I looked she was starring at the painting and ignoring the movie.  She loves it!  I read an interesting fact the other day on this app I have for my iphone and it said that babies start dreaming even before they’re born.  Isn’t that the cutest thing?  I can’t imagine that they have much to dream about at that stage, but I have in mind a painting inspired by that fact, so stay tuned and I’m sure it will turn up on here eventually.  

Monday, April 11, 2011

April's Pink Photos

Not much TTC going on right now, just waiting for S’s next cycle to begin so we can go and get all of the preliminary testing done and then ordering our little swimmers and doing our insemination at the beginning of May.  In other news though, I told you all that I had started back on Weight Watchers again, and I am happy to report that I have lost 4.6 lbs this first week!  The first week I always loose the most, so I know the big numbers won’t keep coming, but it is still a very exciting start!  That means I am 45.4 lbs away from my goal of 50 lbs.  Not too shabby. 

I really don’t have anything else to post about, so I’ll leave you with some pictures.  I decided to start participating in the blog color photos project that An Offering of Love put together  and this month the color is pink.  My pictures are all from flowers growing around the house/around town right now here in sunny beautiful Austin.  Enjoy!

Soooo soon!

We are so very close to insemination.  I am still having weird dreams.  Last night it was about buying gummy hippos at a store and being preggie.  Um, okay.  We should be inseminating May 4th and 5th as long as my cycle is as regular as it has been!  I have not built that schedule yet at work, so I think I am going to schedule those days off for me.  L should be able to come to the first one and then a friend of ours can come to the second or I can go solo.  I am doing all kinds of strange stuff for fertility.  L REALLY wants me to drink Fertilitea, but my cycle is so normal now, I don’t want to throw it off.  I am burning Moxa on myself everyday and will be getting acupuncture once a week in the coming weeks.  I probably will go get some on the day of insemination also.  I am wearing a “fertility bracelet” that is made of quartz, moonstone and some red stone that starts with a C.  I am not drinking and felt pretty bad about going to Trivia night where people around me chained smoked the whole night, so I will not do that again during this process!  I am walking and with L on weight watchers, I am also eating healthy.  I am ready!  Just waiting on that egg to do it’s business and we are a go.
I did have a little freak out about working and being preggie.  As you all know, I am not sure the reaction at work will be a positive one from my bosses.  I think the staff will go crazy with joy, but my current boss does not get why anyone would want to be pregnant and thinks kids are just a money drain.  I have been asked to push out people or write off people who are preggie, but that was by a boss who is no longer there.  All in all, I am not sure how it will go over, which is why I am nervous to tell them about the process.  I am also sure that once I do tell them, they can’t do anything about it, but if they find out now, they might try to.  Not only that, but I work long, run around all over the place, deal with angry clients, days.  I am not sure if being preggie is going to effect that or not.  I guess you don’t really know until you try.  Fortunately, L is very supportive and if I need to go to bed right after work, she will tuck me in.
I am also not sure what Dr. we will end up seeing once I am preggie because of the thyroid.  I am guessing my birthing plan with midwives might not work, but maybe there is a more modern birthing center set up at a hospital that I could use.  We are still a ways off from that, so I am not really worried about that quite yet.
I will see my current Dr. on the 3rd day of my period to run some tests, so I will have more info then.  I am going in with a huge list of questions, so I should feel more settled after that.  Either way, I am mega excited and will keep all of you posted!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Dream a little dream with me

I have been having strange dreams.  The day after the Dr. said we were a go, I had a dream I went to get inseminated.  I was on a table, which was like a wooden kitchen table, and am totally naked except for a sheet that is covering most of me.  The doc is fiddling around down there and then there is a knock at the door.  In comes Liz who sits down on a chair next to the table and the Drs. wife.  Well, the Drs. wife is the mom on Sons of Anarchy (formally known as Peg Bundy).  Her "character" this time is a quiet woman who talks slow, but matter of factly.  She sits down beside the Dr. and then, we decide to have dinner together.  I am still in just a sheet and am on the table while we suddenly have cheese and little green grapes and they are all drinking wine.  I remember thinking, "well this is unexpected" but not much more than that. 

Last night I dreamed all night about peeing on sticks.  I dreamed about alarms going off and having to get up and pee on a stick and then another stick would need attention.  Lots of jumping up and getting the sticks together.  It was strange. 

I did, in real life, get a smiley face on a stick yesterday and then my little OPK machine said I am ovulating this morning.  I am not exactly sure what to make of that, but I usually ovulate on day 16, so I am going with that.  All the types of kits my Drs. have recommended are confusing and hard to read, but then one of your blogs had a smiley face kit and I tried it and love it.  I feel like I did something pretty awesome when I got that smiley face.  It's funny how happy it makes me :)  So, that means 30 days from yesterday, we will be baby making!

Back on the Wagon

I’m starting Weight Watchers, again, today.  I’ve been doing it on and off for years now.  It works really well, but only if you do it.  My method these last 4 months has been to pay for it and ignore it, which if you were thinking about doing it that way, I don’t recomend it.  It doesn’t work, it’s the darndest thing.  So I stepped on the scale this morning and egads!  So I’m counting points again as of today and I’m going to do their walking challenge, which is basically just a walking program to get you up to being able to do a 5k.  I start today with a 10 minute walk, which seems totally do-able.  With the up coming insemination and possiblity of an actual baby in this house, it really hit me that I have to get into better shape.  I have ALOT of weight to loose, but I think if I could just loose 50 lbs before the baby is born I’d feel much better.  So that is my goal, 50 lbs before the baby is born, which seeing as how the baby isn’t even concieved yet, gives me plenty of time.  And just to make myself extra accountable, I’ll post every Monday on here how much I’ve lost for the week.  Maybe some social pressure will keep me going.  So dear readers, keep me honest!

In other news, I’ve had the whole house to myself this weekend.  It has been glorious.  I’ve missed S, who is in Oklahoma visiting one of her best friends one last time- have a last “party” weekend, but I’ve needed the alone time.  I’ve been working really hard on converting my art studio from a crap hole into some place you’d actually want to go and do art.  I’ll post pictures in a week or two once it is done.  And all of the moving of furniture, stripping of wallpaper, and painting has left me very very sore.  I could hardly get out of bed this morning.  I was a afraid I’d thrown out my back, which I do every once in a while, but I managed to get moving eventually.

Alright so I’m going to go back to cleaning the house and working on the studio so hopefully when S comes back from Oklahoma and our roomie comes back from England tomorrow, things will be looking nice and clean!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Hey There Good Lookin’!

So we got the pictures today of our possible baby daddy.  And we think he is totally cute!  They sent us 11 pictures all together from infant to adult.  We had to sign a confidentiality paper that we wouldn’t publish the pictures or do anything public with them, so we can’t put them up on the blog.  If you know us in real life we will probably show them to you eventually.  Right now we don’t really want to show them to many people because it’s really no one’s business and also we just don’t want to hear anything negative about him.  He is what we were looking for, blue eyed, skinny, smart, and normal/cute looking. I was so excited when I saw the package at the door, I just about freaked out.  What a happy exciting week for us!

Now that we have all of our ducks in a row so to speak, it looks like May 1st is our tentative insem date.  S is about to ovulate in the next day or two, and so we don’t have time to do this cycle.  Plus our doctor wants to run a few basic tests on the 3rd day of her cycle before we do the insem, so if everything cycle-wise runs as usual, that puts it at just about May 1st.  I think that this is really exciting because my birthday is May 12th, so that means we could possibly know by my birthday if we are pregnant or not.  Wouldn’t that be a great birthday surprise?!  I did tell S though that her getting pregnant in no way was a replacement for a birthday present though, exciting as it may be.  Ha!  I wish it was going to be in April though, May just sounds really far away right now…