I am starting to think I am not cut out to be a mom. I know, crazy statement to say, but I fear it might be true. a little late to figure it out.
Liz is still 4 weeks away from really being able to take care of Jude. She cannot lift him for 4 more weeks and the kid is clingy. He is crazy fit throwing and clingy. He screams like someone is hurting him when you change his diaper and spends the whole time thrashing, kicking, and trying to turn over. He screams and throws himself to the floor when he does not get his way or when he just feels like it. He thinks it’s funny when you tell him to not do something and he does it and either gets a kick out of the rebellion or throws a crazy fit. He was fun yesterday. That was the only day I can remember in a LONG time that he was fun.
I don’t really know what all this means as I am at my wits end with him. I have started saying things like, “quit being such a jerk” to him. Not appropriate. All he wants to do it watch TV and drink milk. 2 things I would really like for him to get away from, but the only things that seem to make him happy. He will not eat much other than bottles.
At the nannies, he is a whole different kid most of the time. He eats, smiles, plays and does not go crazy every few seconds. I think he is different and behaves better for Liz too. I am starting to really think he acts crazy around me mostly. And he makes me NUTS! Totally, insanely NUTS! I do not have the patients for him. I don’t know when he is going to quit acting like such a maniac. If ever. I miss my cuddly, sweet, smiling boy. Where did he go? Is he coming back? Ever?
So very frustrated and confused.