6 Weeks!

Wordless Wed.

Smiles!

First smile

Liz and I have been trying to get Jude to smile.  Liz has the approach of making funny faces at him. I never thought about that.  I was waiting for it to be a “good to see you mom” smile.  There have been a few times we thought he was smiling on purpose, but were unsure.  At night, he tends to smile thru one of his feedings lately, which is a nice surprise at 3am.

Yesterday, it happened.  I had him in his chair at the table facing Liz and me and decided to make faces at him.  He smiled and cooed at one of my faces!  It was amazing.  The first smile that was directed toward me!  It was cool that both Liz and I got to see it.  We are so excited about this and cannot wait for the day that he smiles and giggles on a regular basis.

On the car front, Liz got a new car.  It is awesome.  It is a Honda Civic.  I will let her tell you more about it in another post.  It is nice to know my wife is in a new, nice, reliable car!  I am very jealous of it, but also happy she is enjoying it so much.  It makes me feel better than her driving around in that crappy car she had.

I am dying to feel like a normal person again.  My gallbladder surgery is next Monday, so after I recover from that, I should be feeling better!  On top of that not being right, I went to the Dr. yesterday and both my breasts are infected and I have shingles.  I have felt bad for too long now!  I did not feel great at the end of the pregnancy, I then had to recover from the C section and then my gallbladder went out.  I am dying to feel better and like myself again.  I can handle the sleep deprivation, but am tired of being sick in some way.  Everything has been going so wrong, I went ahead and got some life insurance.  I know it is silly, but I should have a policy neways.

Little dude is growing!  He has been eating 4 oz with almost every feeding at this point.  He also is currently wearing a 6-9month onesie and fits into it well.  It is a little baggy, but the right length for him.  The 0-3month ones are too short on him and expose his chest because they are so stretched.  He is making all kinds of noise and kicking his little limbs around.  He can also hold his weight on his feet and loves to stand while I hold him.  He is so long and lean and strong.  He is just so amazing to me.  I love him so much and he grows and changes everyday.  I am excited for Liz to be off work and experience the days with him too.  After today, she only has 13 more days of work!

Even with feeling bad, I am enjoying my time with Jude everyday.  He is moving out of the “I just want to be cuddled” phase and into the “I also need to be entertained” phase.  He still likes his cuddles, but he also wants to play.

Speaking of, he is done with his baby TV time, so I gotta grab him!
-S

5 Weeks Old!

Trying to stay on the Sunny Side

I know that this blog isn’t intended to be a list of all the things going wrong in our life, and I’m sorry if it has turned into that.  But these things weigh heavy on my mind and it helps to get them out.  On the car front, the timing chain went out and basically destroyed my engine.  I’m still waiting to hear from the dealership and some of my work resources (in a round about way I work for a car company) to see if we can put a rebuilt engine in it and cut a deal to make the repair at or less than $2K, in which case it is worth paying to fix it, even if the car is a bit old (an 04 with 80,000 miles).  And if not, then I think we are going to have to say no to repairing the car, sell it for scrap and try to find me some very cheap used car to get by with.  I’m really hoping that we can work something out and just get my car fixed, but who knows at this point.

In baby news, because this after all is a parenting/baby blog, Jude is doing great.  He is on meds now for Thrush and I think the medicine is making him feel a bit weird and sometimes sleepy.  Last night he took the medicine (which we have to rub on his tongue and on the roof of his mouth, you can imagine how much he dislikes this)  and after fussing for quite a while, passed out and slept from 8:45 pm to 1:30 am, which is quite a long stretch for him.  Of course after that he ate, got more meds and was up until 3 am and was back up before 6 am.  Le sigh.  This part of having a new born is pure torture.  I think that the hard part about the sleep deprivation isn’t so much being tired, which is for sure very hard, but the hard part is knowing that things won’t change any time soon.  For a normal, childless adult, a night of bad sleep isn’t a big deal because you know you’ll go to bed early the next night/sleep in on the weekend/take a nap or something to that effect, but with a new born you know that there is no way that in your future you will “make up” for the sleep you lost.  And so at least for me when I am tired and up with him at night sometimes I get this angry hopeless feeling that just overwhelms me.  It’s this little evil voice in my head that says, "this will never get better; you will always be tired and miserable."  During the day, I know that isn’t true, that he will start sleeping through the night as he gets older and things really aren’t even all that bad, but man at night, I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And I really have no right to complain as S gets up twice as much as I do and gets far less sleep than I do because of getting up more and having to pump in the night.  Which of course makes me feel like a jerk, which doesn’t help things, as it sucks to feel hopeless/angry/sad/tired and then feel guilty for feeling that way.  Does anyone else feel this way? 

I guess if I’m being honest I have been a little depressed this last month, which probably accounts for my negative feelings at night.  I’ve been dealing with mild depression my whole life and have been on and off antidepressants since I was in my early 20s.  I think that this time around it’s just related to the stress of being a new parent and the stress we have been under in general and depression is how I react to lots of stress, which sucks, but it is what it is.  I think just admitting it helps a bit.  Right now all I want to do is lay in bed and cry and not get up and not do anything ever again.  It’s really hard to get out of bed and be productive and not just wallow, but I keep getting up and doing my best.  And I guess at this point that is all I can do.

Jude is an amazing baby though.  I love to hold him and snuggle him and just all around love him more than words can say.  He has amazing head/neck control and if he is on his stomach he pretty much doesn’t stop holding his head up and looking side to side.  He also in the last few days has been really into being held so that he can put his weight on his feet and basically doing a mama assisted stand.  It’s pretty cool as I’m fairly sure he isn’t supposed to be able to do either of these things so well at not even 5 weeks.  I guess that’s what being way over due gets you, an advanced baby J.

So looks like I’m actually quitting my job now on March 30^th instead of April 6^th.  S got a call yesterday from her work saying that she misunderstood her FMLA/maternity leave and that she actually needs to be back on April 13^th, not April 23^rd.  It’s annoying because she specifically asked if she could take a week of vacation and then start her leave after the vacation and they said yes but now are taking it back.  I think that they are just really needing her there and that’s why all of this came about.  Not the end of the world, and I’m excited to get to quit a week earlier, but still annoying.

5 weeks tomorrow!  I can’t believe it!  I’ll get pictures posted tomorrow of our loveable little chunk!

-Liz

When it Rains, It Pours

So today has not so far been the best day.  This morning on my way to work my car broke down.  Of course I was in the middle of the road on a busy road.  Luckily after about 20 minutes of backing up traffic and getting lots of angry glares from people, a nice guy walking by thought to have me put it in neutral and pushed me backwards into the parking lot behind me.  I got my car towed to the dealer and had S drop me off at work.  To top all of that off, while we were waiting for the tow truck, little mister crapped his pants.  So S had to change him in the back seat only to discover she only had 1 wipe in her case.  We foraged around in her car and came up with a few tissues and napkins and got the job done.  Needless to say it was ridiculous and I was an hour late to work, which did not make my boss happy.  The car is in the shop still and I haven’t heard back from them yet.  But I’m guessing it’s an expensive engine problem because that’s just the way my life goes and also while I was sitting at a light my car started shaking and then the engine died and wouldn’t start again.  So seems like the engine to me.

Also S and Jude went into the doctor because they have Thrush.  And she also talked to her doctor and they got back the results from her ultrasound and she does have gallstones and needs surgery.  Oh and Jude is now clocking in a heavy 11 lbs!

On Saturday the social worker was supposed to come by at 1 to do our home inspection.  We had originally scheduled for Sunday at 1 but she emailed and moved it to Saturday.  So we got up, all three of us got clean and into fresh clothes and picked up the house.  Then 1 rolled around and no social worker.  Then 1:30, then 2:00.  We called and emailed and couldn’t get a hold of her.  We were pissed.  Having a new born in the house means getting everyone and everything clean by a certain time is hard work and it was so rude to just stand us up.  Finally around 3 she called and said she had a “confusing” week and basically just forgot.   Yeah lady, I’m confused too, I thought you were coming over at 1! So by 3:45 she came over and basically breezed through the house, asked a few questions, told us Jude was cute, and left.  It literally took 15 minutes.  I’m not sure if she normally would do such a half assed inspection or if she just felt bad about being so late and decided to give us a pass.  Either way, we are down now with the social worker and just have to wait for our report from her so we can get our court date.

Ready for this day to be over!

-Liz

1 Month Old

I can’t believe our baby is 1 month old today!  He just gets cuter and bigger everyday.  S took him to her OB follow up appointment today and they weighed him for us and the little chunk now clocks in at 10 lbs 4 oz!  Wow!  Here he is in his cute 4 week picture.

In other news, S is having some stomach issues.  For the last week or so she has been getting sharp intense pains in her stomach at night and the last 2-3 days they have been so bad that she has been crying from the pain and throwing up.  So today she went to her general doctor in addition to seeing her OB and they think the problem might be her gallbladder.  She is scheduled to get an ultrasound tomorrow to see for sure and depending on what they find, she might have to get it removed.  Oy-vey!  So much medical drama in our life right now!  At least she knows probably what the problem is and we can be on our way to getting her back to normal.  It’s been a rough month for S and I’m hoping things start looking up for her soon.  But, one piece of happy news from the doctor, S is only 6lbs away from her pre-pregnancy weight.  Wowza, baby!  Way to go!
-Liz