S had her second melt down last night. It was pretty intense, to say the least, but with how terrible she has been feeling for the past two weeks, I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it. S went to the doctor on Wednesday and they were supposed to do another ultrasound but the machine was broken (lame!) and so they just took some blood. And she got the call on Thursday that her progesterone levels went down, from a 1900 to a 1300 and so they wanted to put her on two week proscription for progesterone to balance it back out. And I know that a lot of you have done the progesterone thing during TTC and some of you during early pregnancy, but S doesn’t have the time that I do to follow all of your lovely blogs (she reads a few and knows from me what most of you are up to J), so she doesn’t know anything about it and felt like a failure over the whole thing. Any words of wisdom you can give her or just a “Hey, I’ve had to take that stuff too and it sucks” message would be really helpful for her right now.
So the melt down was over having to take this stuff along with her thyroid med, her prenatal, the fish oil stuff the RE recommended, and the two anti-nausea meds is just making her crazy. If you recall, S is the sort of person who I normally have to coerce into taking an ibuprofen when she has a headache, so to her all of these meds make her feel like her body can’t do this whole grown a baby thing on it’s own and so maybe it isn’t meant to be. Plus yesterday she didn’t feel as pregnant as usual (and by pregnant I mean totally terrible feeling and exhausted) so she convinced herself that she wasn’t pregnant anymore. Also she doesn’t think that she has her tiny little baby bump anymore, which wasn’t much of anything to begin with. Poor lady, getting herself so worked up over all of this.
I guess what it all boils down to is that neither of us really understood just how hard the first trimester would be and how constant the sickness and exhaustion and whatnot would be. And I know that if you are reading this and have had/are having TTC troubles that it seems like we should be just thanking our lucky stars that S gets to be this miserable, that some of you are desperate to feel this miserable, and I totally get that and we are very grateful and happy. But when you are puking everyday and dragging yourself though life and really hungry but everything sound disgusting, I can understand how it’s hard to see past that. I think I’d melt down too. Hopefully things will get better soon and before we know it, S will be in that mythical second trimester where all of her sickness will magically disappear.