I had a Drs. apt today. The Dr. did the vaginal exam and exclaimed “he’s still in Oklahoma!” AKA I am 40 weeks and 4 days and he is not even dropped. For those reading this that are not baby crazy, the baby has to drop in order for the cervix to start to open and thin out and kick in labor. Thus, there are not visible signs that Jude is anywhere near coming here as some babies drop weeks before they come. On the plus side, some don’t. He could move from "Oklahoma" to labor any minute. My mom even said that neither of my brother or I dropped and that 2 hrs from entering the world, she was not even fully dilated with me. I however, would like some sign that he is coming here.
To induce or not to induce. That is where I am. They also did the fetal stress test and a quick ultrasound on him to measure the fluid around his body. Both tests to make sure he is okay in there at this point. Both came back fine. Not as reassuring as I thought it would be because my Dr. explained, “yes he is fine right now, but we cannot predict the turning point or when he won’t be okay in there”. Well, that’s true. I have no way of knowing when he really should be here. I really wish I did. My Dr. is willing to induce anytime. I don’t want to be induced, but if he is just going to hang out there until I am, let’s do it now! But, how do you know?? You don’t-thus my problem. He could come this weekend, he could stay in there until Feb. 6th when they will force me to induce. I just don’t know what to do or think at this point.
It comes down to healthy baby, healthy mama. I just wish I had the equation or crystal ball that would get us both there. I wish I truly knew how he was doing in there. Is he happy and waiting for something? Is he ready to be here, but doesn’t know how? His movements are big. I am officially carrying a full grown baby in there. When he is active, it is a little intense. So why has he not made his entrance?!?! I want to wait on him, but my patience is waring off. More importantly, I am not so sure he is doing great in there. He does not seem to be gaining much weight (I am losing weight at this point and the stomach growth has stopped) and his movements are like he is trying to plow out the front of my stomach.
Patience. I don’t have much. I never have. They say that babies teach you what you need to know. Is this my first lesson as a mother? I decided after the disappointing Drs. appointment that I needed to just get out of the house. I put on some of my birth play list (relaxing spa music) and went for an hour long walk to relax. Then, last night, we went to see Hook at the Alamo Drafthouse. It was one of those events where they feed you movie specific food while you watch the movie. We ate (an insane amount of food was served) hamburger pizza over a bed of curly fries, a turkey leg larger than any I have ever seen with a citrus salad and mashed potatoes and then multicolored mousse with a cinnamon spoon. Can you say YUM! I think the second course went mostly untouched because when they made the courses, they forget to make them “mini” but it was a really appropriate menu with a movie that I love at the theatre that I love with the love of my life. Something I don’t think we will have the ability to do again for a long time. Liz said I watched the whole movie with my big kid eyes. I noticed that quite a few people in the theatre had that look while watching the movie. I bet Jude will get that same look when he is happily engrossed in childhood things. (that is only if he ever gets here!) (Side note: we joked that if Jude came during the movie, we would rename him “Jude Rufeo K” in honor of it) Ruf-e-o, Ruf-e-o...
On a plus note, all grandmas are behaving. My mom sent me "hang in there” flowers the other day and made a little e-card basically saying the same thing. My dad’s girlfriend has said nothing back to my response. Liz’s mom finally got her whopping cough vaccine and has not said much otherwise. We are still getting texts from people asking about Jude’s arrival, but they all go to Liz now. I think people have realized that I am not in the mood for them. I feel bad that Liz has to filter them, but right now will take it if it means I am not getting them. Liz’s back is doing better also. We are a sad pair with my tailbone and hips being on and off during this last month and her back going out. Both of us are hanging in there:)
I think the final decision for the whole thing is to wait and make one next week. I am going to move my Drs apt from Thurs to Tuesday, see where Jude is and go from there. If there is still no progress, I think I will induce that week. If there is some progress, I might push it the last 4 days and let him try to come in on his own. Personally, I would love to have this baby right now (well a month ago if I was being honest), but I just don’t want to force him out if he is in there for some reason unknown to me. I do feel that being induced leads to C-sections, (I know not all the time, but the study is there) and that is not anywhere near what I would like as a birth plan, but Jude does not seem to be making any plans of entering on his own. It does rob us of the whole, “oh my gosh this is happening” excitement of birth happening on it’s own, but I am starting to think that we were not going to get that chance and on Feb. 6th, we would just be forced to go to the hospital and induce anyways.
Here’s hoping he comes this weekend on his own and puts both of us out of having to make a decision. My Dr is even on call all weekend Jude!