Thursday, March 22, 2012

What would 20 year old YOU want to know about TTC?

A friend of ours is a volunteer at a gay youth group here in Austin and she has asked us to come and talk to the group about TTC.  The “kids” in the group are 18-23ish age range, so it’s not actually a bunch of 15 year olds like it sounds.  We go do the talk next Thursday and I’m trying to figure out what we are going to say.   Here is an outline of things I’m thinking we will talk about:

  • Picking a Donor (Known Donor vs. Sperm Bank)
  • Getting Pregnant (IUI, IVF, etc)
  • Being a gay parent and being the “Other” Mother
  • Adoption Process (Specifically Second Parent Adoption in Texas)
  • Overall Costs
So my question to you, dear public, is what do you wish you had known about TTC back at age 20?  Any advice that we should give or any advice you wish you had had?  Anything about TTC/gay parenting that has surprised you?  Our experience with all of this is quite limited as we only have the 1 kiddo so by no means are we going into this as “experts”, but I still would like to give good advice/info, obviously.  Also, any gentlemen readers out there using a surrogate or something similar, what do you wish you had known?  Also, I don’t think that the talk will be limited to TTC but in general what it means to be a gay parent.  Any and all feedback you can give would be helpful! 


  1. Hmm...that's hard. I was so far from really considering children at that age. I guess I wish I had known that it could be much more expensive and take a lot longer than I expected initially. I'd also have wanted to know about the guide for donor offspring from COLAGE--I think it's a good starting point for thinking about some of the stuff that might come up later. And I would have liked reassurance that I had time to go out and do all kinds of awesome things before having kids--that finding a partner and getting myself into a spot where I was ready for children wasn't something that I needed to rush (though when you're ready, you're ready). Good luck! I bet they'll have some interesting questions for you!

    1. Thanks for the feedback! It is hard to figure out what to talk about because I wasn’t even close then either. It seems totally possible that they might not even be interested, though the girl running it assures me that they are.

  2. I think you've got the basics covered. Maybe have a book/resource list for anyone who's interested?

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. I would want to know that it doesn't always work the first time. It can be heartbreaking to go through the low points of this process. But I'd also want to know how supportive the world is becoming of gay/lesbian parents.