Get caught up- check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 here if you haven’t already!
S and I had a lot of fun living together that first month. S had the smalled duplex, the only door inside her whole place was the bathroom door. It was probably only 250 sq feet, but we were so happy. We didn’t care that we were literally Uhaul lesbians and we didn’t care what anyone thought, we only had eyes for each other. And that was great because I can only imagine what life would have been like if a few days into it we decided that we weren’t really that into each other.
That next month I was able to move into my apartment with my BFF, but it wasn’t often that I stayed there. S and I were pretty much glued at the hip and spent 90% of our time together. I was still a bit of a drunken mess and on more than one occasion caused a scene with her friends. One time I actually got into a fight with one of her friends a this little local pub called the Library. I ended up throwing a handful of ice at him and somehow it hit him right in the middle of his face. He yelled at me and I stormed out of the bar, leaving S’s friends shocked and uncomfortable. Needless to say, several of her friends thought I was crazy and that it was time for S to move on. I guess she saw something in me they couldn’t see, because she loved me anyway, despite my antics.
We had been dating pretty happily for about six months when I ruined it all. Since dating S I hadn’t seen much of my BFF (or my new apartment) at all and decided one night that I needed some time away from her and that I was going to hang out with Brandon and stay the night at my place. It turned out that Brandon was also hanging out that night with sorority girl, his cousin.
Sorority girl and I hadn’t really seen each other other than in passing here and there since our big screaming break up. It was also a surprise because she had dropped out of school and was living with her parents about an hour and half away, which meant that if she was in town then she was spending the night. I was uncomfortable and predictably started drinking, and so did she. Brandon had to go somewhere for a little bit and in her drunken state confessed that she was still in love with me. And one thing led to another and we ended up spending the night together.
It was a huge mistake and something I don’t think I’ll ever stop regretting. I went back to S’s the next morning and didn’t know what to do. But within the week, I couldn’t keep it in and I told S what happened and we broke up. I didn’t deserve to be with her after what I had done and I knew it, so I ended it.
And just like that, sorority girl and I were back together. Only things were different this time, in some ways good, but not so much in most ways. Our break up had really messed her up, like I said, she had dropped out of school, moved in with her parents and was on massive amounts of anti anxiety meds and such. She was a bit of a zombie at times. And she was just desperate to keep me happy and somehow all of that combined made her just the shell of the person I had once loved. There was no future with her and once again she was lying to her parents about where she was going, who she was with because they couldn’t accept the gay thing and she couldn’t handle not having them in her life. We dated again for probably six months. I didn’t see S at all and I realized I missed her.
The details are a bit fuzzy to me now, but I know that sorority girl went over spring break or something like that with her parents to Disney World and that I took that time apart to contact S. I remember going over to her place, wearing my cutest outfit and just kicking myself for having ever hurt her. It took some convincing, but by the end of the week S and I were back together and once sorority girl was back in town I broke things off with her. And that was the end of all of drama in S’s and mine relationship. We have been together happily ever since.
Obviously I wish that things had happened differently, that I had never cheated on S and that I hadn’t turned around and done the same thing to sorority girl. I broke a lot of hearts and I treated two people who I loved very badly. But, now that S and I have been together for what will be 11 years in August and married for 5 years in June with our beautiful baby boy Jude, I can’t regret any of it too much because it lead me here.
And now some random pictures to reward you for reading this long post!