When asked if I have a big family, I always say no. I have one brother a total of one cousin, 3 Aunts, on Uncle, a grandmother on my dad’s side, a grandfather on my mom’s side who is remarried and that is about it. Honestly though, I have a HUGE family. We have so many friends that I would consider family. A huge network of people that we love and they love us. I have never felt lacking in my “family” although I am not really close to any of my blood family other than my immediate family. We have the most amazing family here that has nothing to do with blood.
This all came to mind because my dad’s girlfriend asked for me to confirm as “daughter” on facebook. I know, I know, all this over facebook, but it really caught me by surprise. I invited her to the baby shower in Tulsa and her and her daughter both came. I thought it was a nice gesture on both our parts. She did get us “grandma” bibs, to which I thought was a little presumptuous, but shrugged it off. Realize, the baby shower is only the second time I have ever met this woman. And now she wants to be identified as my mother on facebook? No way lady. My own mother may drive me crazy 99% of the time, but she is my mother thru and thru. She quit her job and stayed at home and raised me and to this day, we are still working on our relationship, but she will always be my mother. I appreciate that my dad’s girlfriend is excited about a baby since her own kids are teenagers and probably at least a decade away from having any, but I think it is crossing a line to expect to be welcomed as my mom and Jude’s grandma. She is really nice, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I am unsure of how to make clear that I have only met her twice in my life and although I am very happy she makes my dad happy, she cannot just assert herself into roles in our lives. I think for right now, I will just let it lie and see what happens. My dad said the other day, “let us know when we can come, I know [his girlfriend and her daughter] will want to see Jude when he gets here”. Not that he wants to, but that they want to. Men are goofy.
On a more positive note, Jude has dropped. He is riding low now. He is on top of my bladder and I ate a huge meal last night for the first time in a long time. Liz made a roast with Yorkshire puddings, mashed potatoes, carrots and mushrooms, so it felt very much like a celebratory dinner:) I have been telling people at work that Jude is almost here. I feel like he will be here in 3 weeks tops. Everyone keeps laughing at me. I didn’t have any hard proof on this matter, but I just know, he is ready in there and he is coming. I had a massage with one of my what I call "energetic therapists" yesterday and she agrees. She also said some other interesting things. She said he will be here in 2 weeks and 6 days. She said he is big and ready to come here. The strangest thing she said is that he has a surprise he wants to show us. I asked her what that meant and she said that it is something like he has 2 different colored eyes or something like that. I think all of these readings my therapists keep giving me and thinking about him coming is so much fun!
I know Liz and I are really excited for him to come, but I suddenly feel like there is quite a bit to do. I am not sure what since his room is set up, but I am starting to feel the pressure. It is actually 3am in the morning and I am awake because I was laying there and realized I have not set up the little device that helps track diaper changes and nursing that Liz’s mom got us. I have not thought or worried about that the whole time we have had it, but suddenly, I need to make sure there are batteries in it and it works. I also realized there is not food in our bag for the hospital and woke up hungry and worried about that. I am telling you, Jude is coming in the next few weeks! None of this stuff has worried or been a single thought on my mind until right now!
Am I ready for labor? Can you be ready for labor? After 12 weeks of classes on the subject, we are as prepared as we can be, but can you really prepare for your first labor? My whole philosophy has been that I want to try to have a natural childbirth, but Jude will do what he wants to do. If I have a C section and he is healthy and I am healthy, then we accomplished the goal. I do not want a C section, but I feel like labor does what it does sometimes and you have to be able to go with the flow. I feel flexible about it, but will I be in the end? Will I even be in the right mind to think about any of this during labor? I just have to remember to relax as much as possible.
Well, I better eat something and put some batteries in the device so I can get a few more hours of sleep before my alarm goes off for work!