Saturday, December 31, 2011


If I had to describe 2011 in one word, that is the word I would use.  This year has been amazing for us and I can’t believe it is almost over.  At the start of last year we were thinking about having a baby, getting our finances together, becoming serious adults.  And now at the start of 2012 we will be days away (OK possibly weeks) from the birth of our first son.  I cannot believe how far things have come for us this year and I couldn’t be more excited for what 2012 has in store for us.

I was really wanting Jude to be born in 2011 and I guess he only has a few hours to make his appearance if that is to happen.  I don’t think that it will, but we are still hopeful that he will possibly come sometime next week.  I know he isn’t due till the 23rd but babies are being born all around us and I’m getting so jealous!  A couple in our birthing class ended up having to be induced and they had their baby on the 28th and then yesterday a high school friend whose baby is due a few days after Jude went into labor and had her baby.  And seeing how both of their babies were over 7lbs and everyone is happy and healthy it makes me think that he should just go ahead and make his appearance too.  We have been trying to get S to go into labor by feeding her lots of spicy food.  I told her to do some jumping jacks to shake him loose but she just won’t.  She had 3-4 contractions yesterday and 1-2 the day before, but that is all that has happened so far.  I’m very curious to find out next week at her doctor’s appointment if she is dilated at all.

Happy New Years Eve and see you all next year!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

dr n hips

I had a Drs. apt today.  I never did get to see the Dr. even though we did go to the office twice.  She got called into surgery and then to catch (aka deliver) a baby.  The nurse did all the usual things, checked my blood pressure, listened to Jude’s heart, weighed me, so really I only missed out on an exam to see if I am dilated at all.  I go back next week, so she can check then.  I have been gaining weight this last month.  My total weight gain at 9 months along is still only 25.6 lbs, but I have been gaining about 2 lbs a week for 4 weeks. now.  Jude’s house is large:)

I am at the point where I am ready for him to be here.  I figure at the end of this week, I will be 37 weeks, so he can come anytime and he will be fine.  There are no signs of him coming at this point.  Granted, I did not get to see the Dr, so maybe I am dilated, but I doubt it.  He may have dropped a little, but he is not fully dropped and no other signs so far of him wanting to come on out.  We even ate spicy food tonight, but all that did was send him into a frenzy when it hit him.  He is still very active in there and we ate dinner about 7 hrs ago.  I think he either really likes or really dislikes spicy food!

My hips have been killing me!  I know the hormone relaxin is loosening everything up, but they hurt!  It makes it hard to walk sometimes they hurt so bad.  Liz did massage them earlier and this is the best they have felt in a week.  I think I am going to have to have her do it nightly.  I am not a person that is is pain often at all in my body and it is constant at this point.  It makes it hard to sleep.  My right arm and hand also keep going numb.  All this is very normal pregnancy related stuff and I am happy that I made it this far without any of it until now, but I am pretty uncomfortable in my body at this point.  I also think it is not fair to be 9 months pregnant and working.  It is not easy.  Honestly, I don’t know what I would do if I was off work, but maybe I could just work half days?? Not going to happen, but is a nice thought:)

I am lucky to sleep for 3 straight hours during the night.  I wake up every 1.5 hours to pee.  Honestly, it has not left me very tired during the day.  Not any more tired than pregnancy has made me in general.  Most days I would like a nap, but I think being pregnant, you just need a nap in the middle of the day some days.  I think this is baby training as far as waking up every 1.5 hrs and feeling accomplished if I sleep for 3 hours straight at any time during the night.

I want to see his little face.  I also want to see his little toes and feet and bum and etc.  I am just so excited to meet him.  I do wish this labor thing happened when you actually felt good and not when you are tired and your hips hurt, but either way, I am ready for it.  I am going to stick to my original prediction of I will go into labor on the 15th and he will come here on the 16th.  That means 3 more weeks, ugh!  He actually could take up to 6 more weeks before my Dr will induce.  Here is hoping he comes early!:)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Friday, December 23, 2011

So much advice

It’s funny when you are pregnant.  People love to give you advice.  I think it is a time to share your stories about your child and your experience since most people don’t walk around and ask about your birth or your first days with your child.  Liz and I have both had the philosophy of listen, and thank people for their advice.  I feel the same way about birth as I do about having a child.  Prepare as much as possible and then wing it when it happens.  I feel birth and caring for a newborn is not something you can read about and control.  It happens when and how it happens and Jude really is the one on control.  He may be an angel, he may cry every second of everyday, he may take to breastfeeding like a champion, or we may spend the first 2 months trying to both learn how to do it, etc.  There is no book on Jude specifically and I think that part of being a parent, and a part I am very excited about, is you learn about your child along with your child.

All this came about today because Liz’s mom is here and a comment she made earlier.  She said, “yeah, I was talking to someone and said my daughter in law thinks she is prepared for a newborn.  Man is she in for a surprise.”  She then proceeded to tell me the story of how when they got Liz home from the hospital, she was crying and that her and her husband handed Liz back and forth to each other not knowing what to do.

To say the least, the comment took me by surprise.  It also hurt my feelings.  It made me feel like she already thinks I am a bad parent and my kid is not even here yet.  I have not at all expressed how awesome I am going to be with a newborn to her.  I have no idea how I will be with a newborn since I have not raised one yet.  I am sure that birth is exhausting and having a baby that does not let you sleep is exhausting and if I for some reason knew I was really amazing with newborns, which I do not, I might still not be very great at it since I will be sleep deprived.  Honestly the only real skill I have to offer my soon to be here baby is love.  I have babysat since I was little kids of all ages, but I of course have never been the main caretaker of a baby or breastfed or anything like that. Yes, I can change a diaper and we have everything Jude will need and then some as far as equipment and such, but there is so much more to caring for a newborn than that.   I think with anyone who has a child, there is a huge learning curve and that every single child is different outside of their basic needs and that Jude will teach us what we need to know.  Will it be a breeze, NO, will there be times we will need help, YES, but fortunately we have a huge support system that will be happy to come over and give us a hug if that is what we need at the time along with tons of other support and help.

My mom was the same way about the birth.  I said a comment about how I wonder if I will no longer gag thru the day and puke once a week the second he is out or if this is something that will linger or if I will always feel this way.  She went on a tangent about postpartum depression and how I would need to exercise right away but would be too tired.  What does that have to do with puking??

Liz made the comment earlier that no one ever has anything good to say about the birth of a child or raising a child and it seems to be right!  We are both SO excited for the birth of our little boy and to raise him.  I just wish some of the advice givers could be excited too!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Waiting for my Baby...

In almost one month exactly, Jude’s due date will be here.  But the real question on our minds is will he be here?  It’s killing us not to know when our little boy will come into the world.  I feel like we are so ready for him to be born, to join our family.  S is also really ready to not be pregnant anymore.  Poor thing has been in some pain the last few days.  Her hips hurt, her back is sore and now that Jude has dropped some what, her pelvis is under constant uncomfortable pressure.  I hate seeing her feel bad and it’s hard to imagine that this level of discomfort could last another month or even longer.  I just hope that we don’t have a Christmas baby.  This week is too early, but 2 different friends have warned us that we better not have this baby while they are out of town, and the superstitious side of me thinks that because of this it is now a possibility.  Eeek!

S had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday.  The doctor says that she isn’t dilated yet and that while the baby might have dropped some, he hasn’t dropped all of the way yet.  Everything looks great and it’s a matter of time now.  I feel really grateful how healthy S had managed to stay through this pregnancy.  In our birthing class one girl who is due around the same time as S is in the hospital right now.  She has been on bed rest for about 3 weeks and in the hospital for about 2 weeks now.  Her blood pressure has been high and she has been in tons of pain for ages.  Yesterday at birthing class our instructor told us that she now has developed preeclampsia and will be induced on the 27th.  I’m so grateful that this isn’t S’s situation.  She has managed to avoid all of that stuff along with gestational diabetes and still hasn’t gained even 25 lbs.  S rocks and I’m so proud of her!  She makes this baby making business look easy (but I know that it isn’t).

Speaking of birthing class we had our last class yesterday.  I’m sad that it’s done, I really enjoyed it and feel like I learned a lot.  I would really recommend anyone who is interested in having a natural child birth check out the Bradley Method.  Our instructor is amazing and I’m so glad that her and her husband want to be friends with us in real life outside of the class.  I’m also excited that all of the other couples in the class seem to really want to start our own little baby play group once all of the babies are here.  That will be so much fun.

Is everyone ready for Christmas?  I still have 1 million things left on my list to get done.  My mom and my youngest brother are coming into town tonight and so I’m hoping to get out of work early today so I can finish some last minute cleaning and wrap their presents and what not.  I’m really excited to have them here for the holidays.  I’m also hoping to cheer up my little brother while he is here.  He sent me a text yesterday that he wanted a recommendation for a book.  He said he wanted something funny because he has been really bummed out and lonely lately.  Makes me so sad! 

So with family in town we probably won’t be posting again until after Christmas, so everyone have a good one and safe travels!

Monday, December 19, 2011

What is family and Jude’s drop!

When asked if I have a big family, I always say no. I have one brother a total of one cousin, 3 Aunts, on Uncle,  a grandmother on my dad’s side, a grandfather on my mom’s side who is remarried and that is about it.  Honestly though, I have a HUGE family.  We have so many friends that I would consider family.  A huge network of people that we love and they love us.  I have never felt lacking in my “family” although I am not really close to any of my blood family other than my immediate family.  We have the most amazing family here that has nothing to do with blood.  

This all came to mind because my dad’s girlfriend asked for me to confirm as “daughter” on facebook.  I know, I know, all this over facebook, but it really caught me by surprise.  I invited her to the baby shower in Tulsa and her and her daughter both came.  I thought it was a nice gesture on both our parts.  She did get us “grandma” bibs, to which I thought was a little presumptuous, but shrugged it off.  Realize, the baby shower is only the second time I have ever met this woman.  And now she wants to be identified as my mother on facebook?  No way lady.  My own mother may drive me crazy 99% of the time, but she is my mother thru and thru.  She quit her job and stayed at home and raised me and to this day, we are still working on our relationship, but she will always be my mother.  I appreciate that my dad’s girlfriend is excited about a baby since her own kids are teenagers and probably at least a decade away from having any, but I think it is crossing a line to expect to be welcomed as my mom and Jude’s grandma.  She is really nice, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I am unsure of how to make clear that I have only met her twice in my life and although I am very happy she makes my dad happy, she cannot just assert herself into roles in our lives.  I think for right now, I will just let it lie and see what happens.  My dad said the other day, “let us know when we can come, I know [his girlfriend and her daughter] will want to see Jude when he gets here”.  Not that he wants to, but that they want to.  Men are goofy.

On a more positive note, Jude has dropped.  He is riding low now.  He is on top of my bladder and I ate a huge meal last night for the first time in a long time.  Liz made a roast with Yorkshire puddings, mashed potatoes, carrots and mushrooms, so it felt very much like a celebratory dinner:)  I have been telling people at work that Jude is almost here.  I feel like he will be here in 3 weeks tops.  Everyone keeps laughing at me.  I didn’t have any hard proof on this matter, but I just know, he is ready in there and he is coming.  I had a massage with one of my what I call "energetic therapists" yesterday and she agrees.  She also said some other interesting things.  She said he will be here in 2 weeks and 6 days.  She said he is big and ready to come here.  The strangest thing she said is that he has a surprise he wants to show us.  I asked her what that meant and she said that it is something like he has 2 different colored eyes or something like that.  I think all of these readings my therapists keep giving me and thinking about him coming is so much fun!

I know Liz and I are really excited for him to come, but I suddenly feel like there is quite a bit to do.  I am not sure what since his room is set up, but I am starting to feel the pressure.  It is actually 3am in the morning and I am awake because I was laying there and realized I have not set up the little device that helps track diaper changes and nursing that Liz’s mom got us.  I have not thought or worried about that the whole time we have had it, but suddenly, I need to make sure there are batteries in it and it works.  I also realized there is not food in our bag for the hospital and woke up hungry and worried about that.  I am telling you, Jude is coming in the next few weeks!  None of this stuff has worried or been a single thought on my mind until right now!

Am I ready for labor?  Can you be ready for labor?  After 12 weeks of classes on the subject, we are as prepared as we can be, but can you really prepare for your first labor?  My whole philosophy has been that I want to try to have a natural childbirth, but Jude will do what he wants to do.  If I have a C section and he is healthy and I am healthy, then we accomplished the goal.  I do not want a C section, but I feel like labor does what it does sometimes and you have to be able to go with the flow.  I feel flexible about it, but will I be in the end?  Will I even be in the right mind to think about any of this during labor?  I just have to remember to relax as much as possible.

Well, I better eat something and put some batteries in the device so I can get a few more hours of sleep before my alarm goes off for work!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

35 Weeks Bump Picture!

I can't believe that S is in her 35th week.  Only 5 more weeks (or less!) till our little man is here.  It is starting to sink in to me that we are going to go into the hospital, S will give birth, and at the end we will have a precious little baby that they will actually let us take home with us.  I'm so excited and so nervous and so ready and so not ready that is a whirl wind of feelings and emotions.  So much that at this point I come home everyday and I'm just exhausted from thinking about it all.  Of course at this point no amount of thinking will get me as tired as poor S is after a long day of working.  Poor thing, I wish we had the means for her to stay at home these last few weeks of pregnancy so she could prop her poor swollen feet up and take it easy.  She is doing a great job though growing this baby and is such a trooper about the whole thing.  And look at how cute that belly is!
So I still haven't managed to get together any pictures from our shower or any of the other million pictures I have promised you (I'm a naughty blogger), but I do have one more picture to share with you.  Several years ago before we were even thinking about having a baby, S and I went into one of those photo booths they have at game places where they combine your pictures and show you what your future baby might look like.  And randomly my friend Brandon ended up with the picture.  Before the shower he was doing some organizing and found our picture of our "future baby" and framed it and gave it to us as what is for sure the funniest baby shower present we have gotten to date.  Here is it for your enjoyment:
Doesn't he look creepy?  Ha ha ha.  And a lot like a young Rick Perry if you ask me.  Hopefully Jude will NOT look like this kid, but it is funny.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Social worker and such

As I sit here, my belly is resting on my legs a little.  It it pretty funny, and I am leaning forward for it to happen, but still pretty funny.

We had our 2 hour interview with the social worker.  I feel mixed about this whole social worker thing.  I feel angry that my partner of over 9 years is being scrutinized about a child that is hers as much as mine in my opinion.  She is the one quitting her job to stay at home with him and honestly if in the end, they deny us the adoption, that will not change.  I then feel happy that this can even happen as there are some states that it is not even an option.  All in all, it makes me mad to have to go thru this because one of us does not have a penis, but in the end, it will totally be worth it.

Back to the interview.  It is funny that both our lawyer and social worker are a bit quirky.  Strange birds they are.  I expected from both positions for them to be type A personalities and it be more like an interrogation whenever we meet with them.  Not the case, and honestly, I think that is a good thing.  She was very casual and asked a lot of questions.  In the end, both her and the lawyer do not see any reason this would not go thru, which makes it all worth it.  We are going to Bexar (pronounced Bear) county for the adoption, but Liz and I like San Antonio, so no biggie.  (this will not be until Feb. at the earliest)  We like to go there and stay at the Emily Morgan hotel.  They have HUGE bath tubs and it is one of our romantic get aways.  I am sure with Jude that will ruin the romance part, but it will be a nice little escape to go there and spend the night and take a bath and sleep in their really fluffy beds.

She asked us about our families, our lives together, our beliefs with Jude as far as the donor, etc.  It was interesting to me what she did ask and what she didn’t.  Overall, it was pretty painless and Liz got the most questions thrown at her.  She had much better answers than I did and I think the social worker asked some of the questions out of sheer curiosity.  I am just glad that all is left is the home visit.  Our friend B will come and clean up the yard before they come and I think we will hire someone to come and clean the house and that will be that.  There is nothing here to hold us back.

On that note however, I woke up to our little guard dog Emma losing her mind.  It turns out the young girl dog from next door was in our backyard and Emma was not having it.  We have had this ongoing thing with the neighbors and their dogs.  They have 2 pit bulls.  Both are friendly, and both hate their yard and want to live with us.  However, both are excitable and jumpy and with a baby strapped to the front of me, I like them less and less.  We split the cost for a new fence between our yards.  I thought that would solve the problem.  Instead, now they break thru the back of their fence and come in thru another neighbors rotting fence.  sigh.  I am so over this!  I do not want that big excited dog coming over and jumping on me or coming over when Jude is hanging out in the backyard with us.  I am at a loss as to what to do.  I am to the point where I might just start calling the pound when she is out, but that seems like it would punish an already unloved dog and not the owners.  What do I do??  This morning at 7:30 am on my day to sleep in, I decided to wake the neighbors and ask them to get their dog out of my yard as I have many times before.  Maybe that will make them more into fixing the problem, but I doubt it.  I am going to go to Home Depot today to try to get chicken wire or boards to patch up the current holes.  I would need 10 whole boards to patch up their fence, which is why I am leaning towards some kind of wire I could just attach a sheet of.  Either way, what a pain!

The pregnancy is still going well.  I am starting to slow down a little.  I have a rule at work that I climb the stairs 5 times before starting to take the elevator, but lately, I have leaned towards the elevator.  I am tired most of the time and my tail bone has been giving me some pain.  This belly is a little hard to shift around at night and Jude rather enjoys hitting me in the bladder.  Fortunately, he does not kick my ribs yet.  That is something my mother “hopes for me” as payback for when I bruised hers as a baby.  I feel like I am doing really well for being 8.5 months along if that is all that is bothering me.  

We took our animals to all get vaccinated the other day.  (one of the social worker requirements)  and it was quite an adventure.  We have 2 dogs and 2 cats.  We got the cats in crates and the dogs on their leashes and loaded them in the car.  PJ, Liz’s cat, meowed the whole ride there, while he was there, and the whole ride back.  He got the other cat, Malcolm, all worked up and then Pedro the pug started whining.  It was a 30 minute drive to and from the place.  Then on the way home, Malcolm pooped in his crate!  Yuck!  The poor guy was just stressed, but my preggie nose, was not happy about it!  I am glad to have that adventure out of the way.  There is a place that does full vaccinations for about $40 an animal, so it was not as expensive as going to the vets.

5 more weeks.  wowsa.  I need to start packing a bag for the hospital today.  That is on my to do list for Wed.  We only have 2 more birthing classes and then, it is just a matter of dr visits and the holidays.  I am so very hungry.  The other day, I ate breakfast, 2 lunches, 2 dinners, a slice of cake and 4 cookies.   Yesterday, an employee of mine was talking about how she thinks a pizza place made her sick and I just go, “man their pizza and bread sticks sound so good right now”.  She ofcourse just looked at me like I was crazy.  I figure this is the time to eat, so I am.  Now if I go to my Drs. apt on Wed and have gained 5 lbs, I might reconsider, but for now, I am going with what my body is telling me.  I made a 12 hours play list of relaxing songs for the birth.  Liz is going to make a more upbeat one for the birth in case that is what I  decide I like.

We finished decorating the Christmas tree yesterday.  It looks so nice.  Hopefully I can get Liz to put some belly pics and tree pics on here for you to see.  You know I am technologically unable to do such things:)

I hope all of you are enjoying this holiday season!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Baby Shower!

Our baby shower on Sunday was, in one word, amazing.  Just amazing.  We had such a good turn out, almost everyone we expected to come did and those that didn't either lived too far away or were sick.  Our hostess, Aunt Lulu as she's like Jude to call her, did a great job setting everything up.  We had pretty baby blue cup cakes with fancy toasted coconut, olives, bread, hummus, a spinach artichoke dip that everyone raved about, nuts, fruit, veggies, summer sausage, crackers, cheese, lots of Mimosas and other yummy things that I'm sure I'm forgetting.  The house was decorated with pretty turquoise, silver and white balloons and the table was set in those same colors.  It was really lovely.  I didn't bring my camera but several other people were taking pictures so I'll hopefully post a few later this week.  

After some mingling, we played a baby trivia game that Aunt Lulu and Uncle Duck made for the shower.  There were questions on Old Wives' Tales, celebrity babies, songs with the word baby in it, facts about babies and things of that nature.  It was so much fun.  After each round there was a bonus challenge.  The first round we had to have one person on each team cut a piece of string that they thought would most closely wrap around S's waist.  The second round was a blind taste testing of 5 different baby foods and the third challenge was who could drink 9 ounces of water from a baby bottle the fastest.  Everyone had a blast and out of 4 teams, my team won!  

After trivia we sat down and opened presents.  We got so much cute stuff that I think we officially have just about everything we need for sweet baby Jude.  The generosity of our friends and family is just mind blowing, seriously.  We got several hand made blankets/quilts that are so sweet that I'll have to post pictures of them soon.  We got stuff to organize his room with, a great dinosaur cross stitch that I'll also have to post pictures of, a chair that buckles onto one of our kitchen chairs to use for a high chair, a big frog thing to put all of his bath toys in, lots of cute clothes, and so much other stuff.  I won't bore you, but let's just say his room/our house is now stuffed with baby things and we have a LOT of thank you cards to write!

So all in all a wonderful time.  S's mom and brother also came down for the shower and it was really nice to spend some time with them and have them there for our special event. While S's mom was in town we also went and had one last 3D ultrasound.  I can't believe how much bigger and cuter our little boy has gotten in the last 6 weeks!  I'll be posting pictures from that as well.  We got one really cute one where he is sticking out his tongue!  So cute!

Alright well obviously our next post is going to picture filled.  Till then!